IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books becuse they will be able to read everything they want online without paying To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statment?

In
this
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 modern era, a lot of
people
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 are able to read what they want without paying and fewer
people
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 buy printed newspapers or
books
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.
This
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 tendency to the online
market
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 is growing fast and maybe in the
future
Add a comma
future,
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 we will read only from electronic devices. In
this
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 essay, I'm going to show the advantages and disadvantages of these, incorporating my opinion, which is that we will need to buy more
books
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 and newspapers. The cost of editing a
book
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 or a newspaper is very
exèpensive
Correct your spelling
expensive
 and
for
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this
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reason
Add a comma
reason,
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 more
people
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 are moving to the online
market
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, which is way cheaper.
Firstly
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, how can we afford not to cancel
books
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? There are a lot of answers to
this
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 question, but we can say that only with recycling can we do it. The cost might be reduced with the use of recycling paper and we
also
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 cannot destroy forests.
For example
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, Amazon
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is reduced by 50 per cent only for the use of wood, which is invested in the
book
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market
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.
Then
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, another benefit to reading on paper is that you can smell the perfume of the
book
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 and you can
also
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 go back to the chapter that you are more interested in a second time without swiping. After that, there is a medical pro, indeed, reading on paper, you stress less on your eyes and so, you have more possibility of not wearing glasses.
For instance
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, the population with glasses would be rising in the future
due to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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electronic devices.
On the other hand
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, the use of technology would bring fresh air to the
market
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, because inside an iPad you could have more than one
book
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 and so, it will be lighter to carry and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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manage.
Furthermore
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, it is cheaper
to
Change preposition
for
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 the customer to buy one time the electronic device than to buy more
books
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. In conclusion, society will go with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology,
however
Linking Words
, the taste of reading a
book
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 or a newspaper is another thing. There are more advantages to making
books
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, but
people
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 prefer to opt for the cheaper way.

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Task Achievement
Your introduction outlines your opinion but could benefit from a clearer thesis statement that directly addresses the prompt. Make sure to provide a concise overview of your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Some arguments could be better structured. For instance, try to group similar ideas together for clarity and coherence, and ensure each point logically follows the previous one.
Task Achievement
More specific examples could enhance your arguments. Instead of general statements, provide particular instances or evidence to support your claims about reading preferences and the effects of technology.
Positive Highlight
Your essay presents a balanced view with both advantages and disadvantages, which is commendable.
Positive Highlight
You've included some interesting points about the benefits of physical books, showing a thoughtful perspective on the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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