IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that living in big cities is bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge

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Some people believe that living in large
cities
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 is harmful to
people’s
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health
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. I partly agree with
this
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 opinion because,
although
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 big
cities
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 can cause stress and negatively affect
people’s
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 well-being, they
also
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 offer opportunities to maintain a healthy lifestyle.
Firstly
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, living in big
cities
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 can harm
people’s
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health
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due to
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 high levels of stress, which may lead to mental
health
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 problems
such
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 as anxiety or bipolar disorder.
However
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, it is important to mention that living in large
cities
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 can support a healthy lifestyle because there are many options,
such
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 as access to healthy food and the availability of gyms. In conclusion,
people’s
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health
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 is influenced not only by their environment but
also
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 by their personal choices and mindset.

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task achievement
Expand on your main points with more detailed explanations and examples to strengthen your argument and provide a clearer response to the task.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay, ensuring that your ideas connect logically and smoothly.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position, showing a good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint without introducing new ideas, which is a strong aspect of the essay structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban environment
  • respiratory issues
  • pollution
  • fast-paced lifestyle
  • noise pollution
  • health facilities
  • mental health
  • physical activities
  • nature contact
  • health problems
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