IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that the best way to solve the problem of air pollution in cities is to increase the cost of vehicle fuel. Others think that different measures should be taken. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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Many individuals believe that increasing the price of vehicle
fuel
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 is the best way to reduce the issue of
air
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pollution
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 in the cities.
Whereas
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, some consider different steps should be taken
such
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 as growing more number of
trees
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 and managing the industrial
pollution
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. In my opinion, other methods play a major role in reduction of the
air
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pollution
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.
Air
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pollution
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 is one of the major problems in the cities. Some consider increasing
fuel
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 prices the most effective solution because the rise in the prices of
fuel
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 leads to a decrease in the use of personal vehicles and motivates an individual to use public transport like buses, and trains in everyday life.
This
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 results in a decrease in emission of the harmful gases like carbon monoxide into the environment and helps reduce
air
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pollution
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.
For example
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, countries like Poland and Sweden have very high prices of
fuel
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, resulting in an increase in the use of public transport and
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
show examples
 in
pollution
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.
However
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, some people consider other methods like growing
trees
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 and managing the emission of harmful gases from industries are more efficient ways to control
air
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pollution
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. Growing more
trees
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 increases the gas exchange and helps to reduce the amount of carbon dioxide in the environment reducing
air
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pollution
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 and global warming as well.
For instance
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, countries with more forest cover like Norway and Sweden are observed to have less
air
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pollution
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. In my opinion, industries play a significant role in the increase of
air
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pollution
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. Managing the harmful gases emitted by using scrubbers and electrostatic precipitators helps in reduction of the
air
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pollution
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.
In addition
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,
trees
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 play a major role in increasing gas exchange and reducing t
air
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pollution
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.

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coherence
The introduction could better outline the structure of the essay and clarify your position earlier in your statement.
coherence
Ensure you minimize repetitive phrases and improve the flow between sentences for clarity.
task achievement
While you provide examples, further details or statistics could strengthen your argument significantly.
task achievement
Consider addressing potential counterarguments to strengthen your viewpoint.
content
You have provided a relevant introduction that presents both sides of the argument.
content
Your use of examples from other countries is effective in illustrating your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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