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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The crime rate nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advanced technology which can prevent and solve the crime. Do you agree or disagree?

#crime #rate #technology
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These days the number of crimes is being decreased by progressing
technology
 rather than in the past, since it can be able to prevent and address
crime
, in my opinion, I strongly agree with that which
people
 can easily
check
 everything before doing something
such
 as travelling, buying, and marketing,
for instance
, they have a smartphone to
check
 the prices of stuff before purchasing in false price. It is my view that the
crime
 rate nowadays is decreasing compared to the past
due to
 advanced
technology
, which can prevent and solve
crime
. Most
people
 have access to their smartphones and the internet to evaluate and
check
 some products that they tend to purchase in terms of quality and cost.
Furthermore
, folk will be aware of some locals which is dangerous for them to travel there by gaining information that
technology
 gives them.
In contrast
, some
people
 claim that these days the number of crimes is not being decreased by progressing
technology
 rather than in the past, as some hackers who are experts working with advanced gadgets can enter
people
's privacy and take advantage,
for example
, they can steal their family photos and thread them to spread them so that abusers make money by
this
 way.
Moreover
, some sellers sell fake products by making them exactly like genuine ones;
for instance
, they produce some fake labels with advanced printers and attach them to their products to sell them at the original price. In conclusion, I completely agree that nowadays the rate of
crime
 starts to decrease by introducing new
technology
 compared to the past because individuals are able to assess and
check
 everything by using and applying some gadget
such
 as smartphone or GPS before making purchases or travelling.
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coherence
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clarification
Clarify and elaborate any statements or assertions you make, ensuring that your ideas are comprehensive and clear for better reader understanding.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear stance on the topic, presenting a balanced view with both supporting and opposing points.
coherence and cohesion
There is an effective introduction and conclusion that frame the main ideas of the essay well.
coherence and cohesion
Main points are supported with explanations, helping to make the argument more convincing.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • surveillance systems
  • CCTV cameras
  • forensic technology
  • crime scene analysis
  • conviction rates
  • data analytics
  • predictive policing
  • high-risk areas
  • cybersecurity measures
  • cybercrime
  • sensitive information
  • social media
  • online platforms
  • emergencies
  • law enforcement response
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