IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a long weekend Do you agree or disagree?

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The weekend must be longer for employees,
while
Linking Words
shorten
Replace the word
shorter
show examples
 working weeks. In my opinion, I suppose to make long
holidays
Use synonyms
 for workers to get benefit from the weekends.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
holidays
Use synonyms
 are days of pleasure, so they
engaged
Wrong verb form
engage
show examples
 in many activities: including, hiking, walking, exercise and even going out with family.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
weekend
Add an article
the weekend
show examples
 is family
time
Use synonyms
 that together have breakfast and other meals
, which
Rephrase
together, which
show examples
 cannot be done
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 working days,
as a result
Linking Words
, communication has increased sufficiently. All of that can break the stress of
work
Use synonyms
 and get back actively and more productively.
For example
Linking Words
, in many countries that have short working
hours
Use synonyms
, the
laborers
Change the spelling
labourers
show examples
 who
work
Use synonyms
 in
Add an article
a company
show examples
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
 with limited
hours
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 were happier than those
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
 unlimited working
time
Use synonyms
.
In other words
Linking Words
, doing home chores
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 alternatively, there is no
time
Use synonyms
 to
relaxed
Wrong verb form
relax
show examples
 and
getting
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
 rest and that could
exhausted
Change the verb form
exhaust
show examples
 them and
depleting
Wrong verb form
deplete
show examples
 their energy.
As well as
Linking Words
, some employees have debilitating diseases which prevent them from working long
hours
Use synonyms
, and
those
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 need to compress their activity
time
Use synonyms
. Females who have newborn infants and their children need them for their care,
consequently
Linking Words
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
have more
holidays
Use synonyms
 even if their monthly wages will decrease. For
instants
Replace the word
instance
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, nurses and doctors demand heavy working
hours
Use synonyms
and
Correct word choice
which
show examples
 eventually
ending
Wrong verb form
end
show examples
 in their
illness
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
show examples
. In conclusion,
however
Linking Words
 dropping in working
hours
Use synonyms
 affects the economy of many countries, it is a great idea to lengthen
holidays
Use synonyms
 for employees, so they back to their
work
Use synonyms
 actively, free of many diseases that affect their
work
Use synonyms
 and being
glad
Correct word choice
happy
show examples
 with that.

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task achievement
Clarify your main argument and ensure your position is clearly stated in the introduction. For example, try to rephrase "I suppose to make long holidays" to a clearer stance such as "I believe that longer holidays would benefit workers".
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea. For example, the second paragraph can explicitly state how increased communication during weekends enhances familial relationships.
coherence cohesion
Use more linking words to improve the flow of your essay. Words like 'furthermore,' 'in addition,' and 'however' can help connect your ideas better.
task achievement
Check grammar and word choice for accuracy. For instance, instead of 'being glad with that,' consider 'being satisfied with their work.'
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion on the topic, which is essential for task achievement.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples from different professions, which enhances the essay's credibility.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
What to do next:
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