Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some
animals
Use synonyms
are at risk of going
extint
Correct your spelling
extinct
and others are already. There are many possible reasons,
one
Correct word choice
but one
show examples
of the main
driver
Change to a plural noun
drivers
show examples
of
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the extintion
show examples
extintion
Correct your spelling
extinction
of some
animals
Use synonyms
are human
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
.
For example
Linking Words
, the
distruction
Correct your spelling
destruction
of animal
Use synonyms
habitat
Fix the agreement mistake
habitats
show examples
, hunting and
climate
Use synonyms
change
Use synonyms
. Nowadays, more people
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
became
Change the verb form
become
show examples
aware of
this
Linking Words
issue, and nations are working to find solutions to protect
indangered
Correct your spelling
endangered
species. Human
activies
Correct your spelling
activities
can lead to the
Use synonyms
extintion
Correct your spelling
extinction
of rare
of
Correct your spelling
or
show examples
indangered
Correct your spelling
endangered
animals
Use synonyms
. These
activies
Correct your spelling
activities
include hunting
animals
Use synonyms
for many purposes
such
Linking Words
as consumption for food, using their fur or leather for clothes, and
to sell
Change the verb form
selling
show examples
rare species on the black market. Hunting
animals
Use synonyms
that are rarely found in nature can lead to their
extention
Correct your spelling
extinction
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
can lead to a
distruption
Correct your spelling
disruption
in the environment.
For
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
reason, governments built reservations
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
and employed workers to protect those
animals
Use synonyms
. And in most
countries
Add a comma
countries,
show examples
there are laws and punishments for hunting
indangered
Correct your spelling
endangered
animals
Use synonyms
. Another reason worth mentioning is the
distruction
Correct your spelling
destruction
of
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
show examples
natural
habitat
Use synonyms
,
as a result
Linking Words
of cutting tees. For
instence
Correct your spelling
instance
, in Brazil the
amazon
Capitalize word
Amazon
show examples
rain
Use synonyms
forests
Fix the agreement mistake
forest
show examples
trees were
cut-down
Correct your spelling
cut down
show examples
,
those
Correct word choice
and those
show examples
trees are used for
constuction
Correct your spelling
construction
.
The rain
Correct article usage
Rain
show examples
forests
Use synonyms
are one of the most important natural areas for the world
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
a significantly diverse animal life and the
forests
Use synonyms
help reduce
climate
Use synonyms
change
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
,
climate
Use synonyms
change
Use synonyms
main driver in the burning of fossil fuels
such
Linking Words
as oil, gas and coal.
Climate
Use synonyms
change
Use synonyms
can lead to the rising of sea levels, droughts,
melting
Correct word choice
and melting
show examples
of ice perks. And
in-turn
Correct your spelling
in turn
show examples
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
to affecting the
habitat
Use synonyms
of
animals
Use synonyms
which causes their
Use synonyms
extintion
Correct your spelling
extinction
. Many solutions have been proposed to limit the use of fossil fuels
such
Linking Words
as sustainable fuels, and
protecting
Wrong verb form
protect
show examples
the
amazon
Capitalize word
Amazon
show examples
forests
Use synonyms
.
Moveover
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, many countries are planning to produce
electrcity
Correct your spelling
electricity
via solar plants, wind, and biomass. And specialized
insitutions
Correct your spelling
institutions
and organizations are working to implement laws to
protects
Wrong verb form
protect
show examples
the rain
forests
Use synonyms
and the environment. In conclusion, a large number of
animals
Use synonyms
are at risk of
Use synonyms
extintion
Correct your spelling
extinction
,
due to
Linking Words
climate
Use synonyms
change
Use synonyms
,
Correct article usage
the distruction
show examples
distruction
Correct your spelling
destruction
of natural
Use synonyms
habitat
Fix the agreement mistake
habitats
show examples
, and hunting. Even though some damage has been made to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature, there are solutions that can protect these
animals
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as protecting the
habitat
Use synonyms
of
animals
Use synonyms
by building reservations
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and implementing laws to protect it.
Also
Linking Words
, limiting
climate
Use synonyms
change
Use synonyms
by using and depending on sustainable power sources.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow between paragraphs and ensure clear transitions. Consider using linking words to guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points, as this will enhance the depth of your arguments and demonstrate a thorough understanding of the issues discussed.
language accuracy
Focus on minor grammar and spelling errors, as they can distract from your message. Proofreading can help eliminate these issues.
task achievement
You effectively identify key reasons for animal extinction, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your essay is clear, with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • species extinction
  • endangered animals
  • biodiversity
  • habitat loss
  • deforestation
  • urbanization
  • poaching
  • illegal wildlife trade
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • conservation efforts
  • legislation
  • enforcement
  • human overpopulation
  • sustainable development
  • responsible consumption
  • education
  • awareness programs
  • protected areas
  • wildlife reserves
  • international cooperation
  • collaboration
What to do next:
Look at other essays: