IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Governments spend an enormous amount of money on renovations of old buildings in large cities. Some believe that this money can be better spent on building new houses and developing roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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There is
huge
Add an article
a huge
the huge
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 amount of money spent to renovate old
buildings
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 in many cities. A few consider
this
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 as a sheer
wastage
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waste
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 and argue spending on building new houses and new infrastructure is a better use of our limited finances. I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion, stating that old
buildings
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 have a
history
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 and a charm which cannot be written off.
Although
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 it may be tempting not to spend money on old
buildings
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 and spend them on building new
stuctures
Correct your spelling
structures
instead
Linking Words
, it is important to consider the historical significance of existing structures, which might be monuments, museums, offices, or residences. It is crucial to retain
the
Correct article usage
apply
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history
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 to the best of humankind's capabilities. Imagine, if
government
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the government
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 would not have made efforts
on renovating
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to renovate
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Taj
Correct article usage
the Taj
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 Mahal or Red Fort, which are 300 years old and are a few of the most popular tourist places in India. These tourist places not only represent
history
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 but
also
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 remind us of unique architecture, which is hard to replicate in present times. It is understandable that upkeeping and maintaining the old edifices may incur exorbitant expenses, but efforts could be made to find
out
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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modern and efficient ways to sustain these
buildings
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 without cutting a deep hole in the pocket.
While
Linking Words
 it is important to develop new infrastructure like building roads and new
buildings
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, they could be funded by
Correct article usage
a seperate
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seperate
Correct your spelling
separate
 budget, not from the renovation budget. They could be considered on
basis
Correct article usage
the basis
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 of merit and be allocated finances
accordingly
Linking Words
. In conclusion, so we should find means to sustain old historical
buildings
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 to retain our beautiful
history
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 and nostalgic charm. At the same time, new projects could be considered on
basis
Correct article usage
the basis
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 of their merit and could be funded as per their productive usage.

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task achievement
While the essay presents a clear perspective, it could benefit from a more detailed discussion of counterarguments to provide a more balanced view. Addressing opposing viewpoints can enhance the task response.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure all parts of the essay have smooth transitions. Some sentences can be linked more clearly to enhance flow and coherence. For example, use linking phrases to connect ideas effectively.
task achievement
Consider elaborating more on specific examples or providing additional details in places that could strengthen your argument, especially when discussing the costs of maintenance versus the benefits of renovation.
positive
The introduction effectively presents your stance on the issue, establishing a clear position.
positive
Specific examples, like the Taj Mahal and Red Fort, successfully convey the historical significance of old buildings.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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