The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend.

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The weekend must be longer for employees, with shorter working weeks. In my opinion, I support making long holidays for workers to get benefit from the weekends.
To begin
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with, holidays are days of pleasure, so they engage in many activities, including hiking, walking,
exercise
Wrong verb form
exercising
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and even going out with family.
Furthermore
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, the weekend is
family
Correct article usage
a family
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day and people have breakfast and other meals together, which cannot be done on working days.
As a result
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, communication increases sufficiently. All of that can reduce job stress and one can get back actively and more productively.
For example
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, in many countries that have short working
hours
Use synonyms
, the labourers who work in companies with limited
hours
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were
Wrong verb form
are
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happier than those with unlimited working
hours
Use synonyms
.
In other words
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, doing home chores takes time. There is no time to relax and get rest and that could exhaust them and drain their energy.
Also
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, some employees have debilitating diseases which prevent them from working long
hours
Use synonyms
, and they need to limit their activity time. Women with newborns often need more holidays to care for their children, even if it means accepting lower monthly wages.
For instance
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, nurses and doctors require long working
hours
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which eventually end in their illnesses. In conclusion,
although
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reducing working days may affect a country's economy, extending vacations for employees is a good idea, as it helps them return to work healthier, more active, and happier.

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task achievement
Consider elaborating on the potential economic implications of a shorter working week to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that these ideas flow logically from one paragraph to the next. This will enhance the logical progression of your essay.
task achievement
Use more varied examples to illustrate your points, which can enhance the relevance and specificity of your arguments.
task achievement
Good use of examples, especially regarding employee happiness in countries with shorter working hours.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
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