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Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years. (Ekrem)

The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years. (Ekrem)
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The pie chart illustrates the proportion of different types of work in anthropology from one university,
whereas
Linking Words
 the table gives information about the percentage of incomes in 3 various employment of anthropology.
Overall
Linking Words
, the largest number of people work full-time in anthropology, regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
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the table,
workers
Use synonyms
 earn more than $100,000 on average in all sectors. Moving to a more detailed analysis, employees with full-time work rank
first,
Linking Words
at 52%.
This
Linking Words
 is followed by part-time
workers
Use synonyms
 and unemployment, accounting for 15% and 12% respectively. Other
workers
Use synonyms
 with full-time and
par-time
Correct your spelling
part-time
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 postgrad study contribute to only lower than 10%. The remaining 5% is not known With regard to the table,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
50% of
workers
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 sector get more than 100,000$.
This
Linking Words
true
Add a missing verb
is true
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 for 40% of freelance consultants and 30% of private companies. The lowest figures can be observed in
workers
Use synonyms
 with $25000-49999. The income of most private companies (35%) is $50000-74999,
while
Linking Words
 the two other
sector
Change to a plural noun
sectors
show examples
 show the same rate, at 15%. In terms of people who gain $75000-99999, freelance consultants are responsible for 40%, followed by
government
Add an article
the government
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 sector (30%) and
then
Linking Words
 private companies (25%).

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words workers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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