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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years. (Ulvi)

The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years. (Ulvi)
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The pie chart compares
Correct article usage
the destination
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destination
Fix the agreement mistake
destinations
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 of Anthropology graduates from one university and the table gives information about salaries of the these
people
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
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work
Use synonyms
 after five years.
Overall
Linking Words
, the proportion of full-time is the highest and most
of
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apply
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people
Use synonyms
 will gain more than $75,000 after 5 years. Moving to a more detailed analysis, the percentage of full-time
work
Use synonyms
 ranks
first,
Linking Words
at 52%, which is followed by part-time
work
Use synonyms
 accounting for 15%. The figure for unemployed
people
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 is more than that for “not known” and full-time postgrad study by 4%, with the former constituting 12%. The share of part-time
work
Use synonyms
 + postgrad study is the lowest making up just a-twenty. With regard to the table, it is predicted that 20% of employees who
works
Correct subject-verb agreement
work
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in
Change preposition
as
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 either freelance consultants or government sector will get money
ranged
Wrong verb form
ranging
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 between $25,000 and $74,999. The proportion of workers will comprise 40%
in
Change preposition
apply
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freelance consultants for both less and more than $100,000. Half of
employees
Add an article
the employees
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of
Change preposition
in
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government
Add an article
the government
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 sector will gain at least $100,000,
whereas
Linking Words
 the figure for
people
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 sector who will earn $75,000-99,000 is responsible for 30%. In private companies, 10%
Use synonyms
people
Change preposition
of people
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 will get less than $50,000,
the
Correct word choice
and the
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 other salary groups will share approximately the same percentage of workers, between 25% and 35%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, work with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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