IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

(S)İn the future , nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Nowadays, there is an ongoing debate about whether published
newspapers
Use synonyms
 and books are needed in the future.
Because
Correct word choice
Due
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 advancements in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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technology, almost all
people
Use synonyms
 can search for books , which they want,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Add an article
the
an
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online
website
Fix the agreement mistake
websites
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 without any
phsical
Correct your spelling
physical
 effort and they save
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
money and
time
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.
Although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 essay mostly
agree
Change the verb form
agrees
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 with
this
Linking Words
 perspective, it will examine both sides including
drawacks
Correct your spelling
drawbacks
such
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 as
challenging
Replace the word
challenges
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 for older
people
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. On the one hand, technology has many benefits
as well as
Linking Words
 helps
people
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reading
Wrong verb form
read
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news
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in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 online websites
instead
Linking Words
 of
newspapers
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.The main plus is that it does not require any fee for
accsess
Correct your spelling
access
,so
people
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 can find topics which are suitable for their preferences without money.Another benefit is that everyone can search for them
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
everywhere compared to the past because
while
Linking Words
 readers should go
stores
Change preposition
to stores
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 where
newspapers
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 were sold, now , they can read effortlessly
news
Use synonyms
 for two or three minutes. Owing to these reasons ,
people
Use synonyms
's interests have declined.
Acccording
Correct your spelling
According
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a recent report published by the University of Otago, today,
newspapers
Use synonyms
 are less
60
Change preposition
than 60
show examples
% sold
than
Change preposition
in
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 the past four decades.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, whilst online reading has beneficial aspects , some
people
Use synonyms
 especially older generations struggle with technology as they are not addicted to it yet.
Thefore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
 they find
easy
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
a traditional way of reading
Use synonyms
news
Add an article
the news
show examples
Linking Words
as well
Rephrase
easily
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as
Correct word choice
and
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 they
eludicate
Verb problem
also argue
show examples
 that reading for a long
time
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in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 online websites has a disadvantage for
people
Use synonyms
's eyes. They lead to strain problems in
eyes
Correct article usage
the eyes
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 and weaken
body
Correct article usage
the body
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for
Change preposition
from
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 sitting in the same places for a long
time
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.
For example
Linking Words
,a
reasearch
Correct your spelling
research
 conducted by Lund University shows that the number of
people
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 who are
force
Change the form of the verb
forced
show examples
 to read online because of their
acadaemic
Correct your spelling
academic
 work
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 is just above
a
Correct article usage
apply
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half and suggests
people
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to
Remove the particle
apply
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decrease their
time
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 or
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
relax . In
conlusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, these
dasys
Correct your spelling
days
, many
people
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 tend to read
news
Use synonyms
 or books online because it does not require any money and effort.
While
Linking Words
 it is more beneficial ,
people
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 should not forget its disadvantages for their
healthy
Replace the word
health
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espeacially
Correct your spelling
especially
eyes
Correct pronoun usage
their eyes
show examples
, so
controllong
Correct your spelling
controlling
control long
time
Use synonyms
 is important.

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coherence and cohesion
Improve the overall structure of your essay by having clear topic sentences for each paragraph.
task achievement
Make sure to revise grammatical errors and spelling mistakes in your work.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments, as this will strengthen your points.
task achievement
You have presented arguments for both sides of the debate, which shows a well-rounded understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your essay covers relevant points about technology and its impact on reading habits, making it informative.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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