IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

(SSSS)İn the future , nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Nowadays, there is an ongoing debate about whether published
newspapers
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 and
books
Use synonyms
 will be needed in the future.
Because
Correct word choice
Due
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due to
Linking Words
 advancements in
the
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apply
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technology, almost all
people
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 can search for the
books
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 ,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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they want,on online websites without any physical effort and they save
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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money and
time
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.
Although
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this
Linking Words
 essay partially agrees with
this
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 perspective, it will examine both sides including drawbacks
such
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 as challenges for older
people
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. On the one hand, technology has many benefits
as well as
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 helps
people
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reading
Wrong verb form
read
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news
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 on online websites
instead
Linking Words
 of
newspapers
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.The main plus is that it does not require any fee for access,so
people
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 can find suitable topics for their preferences without money.
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
,another benefit is that everyone can search for them
in
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apply
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everywhere compared to the past because
while
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 readers should go
newspaper
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to newspaper
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 stores to purchase them, now , they can read effortlessly
news
Use synonyms
for
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in
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 a few seconds.Owing to these reasons ,
people
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's interests have declined.
Acccording
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According
 to a recent report published by the University of Otago, today, 60% fewer
newspapers
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 have been sold than
the
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in the
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 past four decades.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, whilst online reading has beneficial aspects , some
people
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, especially older generations, struggle with technology as they do not adapt to it yet.
Thefore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
 they find
easy
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
a traditional way of reading
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news
Add an article
the news
show examples
Linking Words
as well
Rephrase
easily
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as
Correct word choice
and
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 they explain that reading for a long
time
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in
Change preposition
on
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 online websites has a disadvantage for
people
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's eyes.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,they lead to strain problems in
eyes
Correct article usage
the eyes
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 and weaken their body by sitting in the same places for a long
time
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.
For example
Linking Words
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
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 research conducted by Leiden University shows that the number of
people
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 who are forced to read online because of their academic work
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is just above
a
Correct article usage
apply
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half and suggests
people
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to
Remove the particle
apply
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decrease their
time
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 or
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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relax. In
conlusion
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conclusion
, these days, many
people
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 tend to read
news
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 or
books
Use synonyms
 online because it does not require any money and effort.
While
Linking Words
 online reading is more beneficial , it will not replace completely
newspapers
Use synonyms
 and
books
Use synonyms
 because a segment of society still keeps a traditional habit of reading to prevent underlying issues
such
Linking Words
 as eye strain.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting sentences. This will help in maintaining logical flow.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking phrases effectively to connect ideas within and between paragraphs for better cohesion.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or data to support your claims about the decline of newspapers and the preferences of older generations.
task achievement
Clarify your stance in the introduction by stating how much you agree or disagree with the statement, and consider outlining the key points that will be discussed.
coherence and cohesion
You have presented a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is essential for organizing your ideas in an essay.
task achievement
Your argument includes relevant points about the benefits and drawbacks of online reading versus traditional reading, showing your understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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