some countries, online shopping is replacing shopping in stores. Do you think it is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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It is argued that
people
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prefer to
use
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online shopping
instead
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of buying things at offline
stores
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. In my opinion, it
quite
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is quite
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a positive development because internet shopping helps consumers more conveniently
for buying
Wrong verb form
buy
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something, and sellers can easily manage their products to improve a better experience of selling.
Firstly
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, online shopping suits consumers who are very busy and have no
time
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to go to the shop because they do not need to spend
time
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going to look
Wrong verb form
looking
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at
the
Correct article usage
apply
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department
stores
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Use
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synonyms carepaymentreliefresponsibilitysubsidyalimentationalimonyallowancekeeplivelihood It is important to
use
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synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and
use
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the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score. . Obviously,
this
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can save
their
Correct pronoun usage
them
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time
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, and
also
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prevent them from exhaustion.
Furthermore
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, they can easily access multiple shops at the same
time
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while
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shopping at on-site
stores
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is impossible.
For example
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, a recent study revealed that online shopping motivated
people
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to highly spend their money on shopping because they bought everything in just one click.
Thus
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,
this
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is why online shopping is very popular nowadays. Another advantage point is to help sellers manage their quantities. On a shopping website, it always shows how many items are available in order to notify that products are out of order, or not.
Moreover
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,
this
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development sometimes
make
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makes
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people
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feel satisfied and have the best experience in shopping.
For instance
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, many customers love checking for clothes before they can go to grab
at
Correct pronoun usage
them at
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the store.
However
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, if they
cannot
Verb problem
do not
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know
this
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kind of information, they will get frustrated and upset. Making a lot of
people
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feel bad
against
Change preposition
about
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the brand. In conclusion, online shopping assists customers to buy all products more quickly
,
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apply
show examples
and
also
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saves their
time
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-consuming.
Furthermore
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, many department
stores
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have a clear benefit from using online shopping to upgrade their customer's experiences and quality management.

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task achievement
The introduction effectively states your viewpoint, but it could benefit from a clearer thesis statement that outlines the main points you will discuss in your essay. This will help the reader understand the structure of your argument right from the beginning.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use more varied sentence structures and vocabulary. While the essay conveys your ideas, a wider range of grammatical structures would enhance the sophistication of your writing. Use synonyms and different phrasing to avoid repetition and demonstrate lexical resource.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly connect your ideas in each paragraph. For instance, using transitional phrases (e.g., 'In addition', 'Furthermore') can enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will make your arguments clearer and more persuasive.
task achievement
You present relevant reasons to support your opinion, highlighting the convenience of online shopping and the benefits for sellers, which is a strong foundation for your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • unparalleled convenience
  • remote areas
  • wide range of products
  • broad selection
  • price comparison
  • customer satisfaction
  • value for money
  • impact on local businesses
  • economic diversity
  • job losses
  • environmental implications
  • packaging waste
  • carbon emissions
  • carbon footprint
  • data privacy
  • cybersecurity
  • personal data
  • tactile shopping experience
  • immediate gratification
  • physically examined
  • robust measures
  • consumer information
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