IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows changes in the amount and type of fast food consumed by Australian

The line graph below shows changes in the amount and type of fast food consumed by Australian
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The line graph compares the changes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 how
many
Correct quantifier usage
much
show examples
 and kind of fast
food
Use synonyms
ate
Wrong verb form
eaten
show examples
 by Australian peers between 1975 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, the consumption of fast
food
Use synonyms
 among peers, in Australia, like Hamburgers and Pizza saw a period of increase.
However
Linking Words
, the Fish and Chips had reduced over the period,
It is clear that
Linking Words
, in 1975,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
eating
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Pizza was
least
Correct article usage
the least
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 popular, nearly 4
times
Use synonyms
 by teenagers and it started sharply lifting from 1975 to 1995. Its growth
illustrates
Verb problem
increased
show examples
 about 82
times
Use synonyms
 per annum by the end of 1995. After that, throughout the 5 years, it had a period of stability.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the consumption of Hamburger was nearly 10
times
Use synonyms
 and it started growing dramatically like the former, between 1975 and 1985.
Than
Replace the word
Then
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, it was the most popular consumption of fast
food
Use synonyms
 during the 15 years.
However
Linking Words
, Fish and Chips was a peak of eating fast
food
Use synonyms
, approximately 100
times
Use synonyms
between
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young people in 1975 and it grew up before rebounding
during
Change preposition
over
show examples
 the 10 years. After that, it experienced
Correct article usage
a sharply
show examples
sharply
Change the word
sharp
show examples
 decrease from 1985 to 2000. It reached 40
times
Use synonyms
 of
consuming
Verb problem
apply
show examples
Chips and Fish by the end of
span
Add an article
the span
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words food, times with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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