Nowadays, children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some think that these activities are not beneficial for a child's mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #tv #video #games #think #activities #child #health

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Nowadays, if we notice parks and grounds, we can see that the parks remain

toovacant

Correct your spelling

too vacant

This

Linking Words

is because all the children spend most of their

time

Use synonyms

at home playing video games and watching television.

According to

Linking Words

me,

this

Linking Words

situation is concerning at some points.

Although

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some people have different views on it,so it would be unfair if I

Use synonyms

don’t

Wrong verb form

didn’t

show examples

discuss both sides. I will elaborate on it in

further

Linking Words

Paragraphs and give my opinions in conclusion.

To begin

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with, a child spending too much

time

Use synonyms

on a digital screen can have adverse effects.

Firstly

Linking Words

this

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affects the growth of a child.

Moreover

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, because of the introduction of digital games, kids

don’t

Use synonyms

find outside sports to be thrilling and prefer to sit at computers.

This

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led to bad mental health of kids.

For instance

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, outdoor sports Increase the oxygen level in the blood, but as toddlers watch online shows,

this

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makes their mental health worse.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, Some parents, who think that the children should do whatever they want to as they

don’t

Use synonyms

want to spoil their child by forcing them to do other things,let their young ones play as much as they want to. Probing

further

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, some doctors think that playing combat Digital games can increase the focus level of a toddler.

for example

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, if a junior plays 40 minutes daily,

this

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will significantly increase his academic skills. In conclusion. I think sitting inside and looking at a screen has no benefits and guardians should ensure that their young ones

don’t

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spend more

time

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on it. Their screen

time

Use synonyms

should be kept limited.

Submitted by poonam.tushir0099 on Thu Jan 09 2025

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task achievement

Try to provide more specific and relevant examples to support your ideas, such as referencing specific studies or statistics.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure smoother transitions between sentences for even better coherence.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the discussion.

task achievement

You addressed both sides of the argument, showing a balanced approach to the topic.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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The given maps demonstrates data on how much grange park developed between 1920 and today.

Nowadays, children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some think that these activities are not beneficial for a child's mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in oder to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both of these views and give your opinion.

There should only be one government in the world rather than a national government for each country. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and or experience. "Truce any relevant examples from your own knowledge

The plans below show public park when it first open in 1920 and the same park today