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Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries, there is a growing concern about the quality of education. What are the reasons behind this issue, and what measures can be taken to improve the education system?

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There is no denying the fact that there are various concerns in many
countries
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 about the
quality
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 of
education
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.
This
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 essay will discuss the reasons behind
this
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 issue
,
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apply
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 and the different ways that could improve the
education
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system
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.
To begin
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 with, there are many reasons
of
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for
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 poor
education
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 systems in many
countries
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.
Firstly
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, developing an
education
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system
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cost
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costs
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 a lot of money
that’s
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that is
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 why in
the
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apply
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developing
countries
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 the learning tools are very simple and may not benefit the children significantly.
In other words
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, many studying tools are modern and need the government to allocate
budget
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a budget
show examples
 to apply it.
In addition
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, teaching needs skilled people to deliver the information easily.
For example
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, if a teacher is not qualified enough
this
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 might affect the
students’
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student’s
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 ability
in understanding
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to understand
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 schools’ subjects. In terms of improving the
education
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systems
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system
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, it is crucial for
the
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apply
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governments to monitor the
education
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system
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 constantly in schools. It is
also
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 possible to say that governments could assign authorities to study any issues that the
education
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system
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 is facing by applying key performance indicators and asking for reports to maintain a high
quality
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 of
education
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.
Moreover
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, many
countries
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 around the world
had
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have
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 improved
the
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their
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education
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system
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systems
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 throughout the years.
For instance
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, Japan had focused mainly on
education
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 after the
second world war
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Second World War
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, and
due to
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 that it became a model in high
quality
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education
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system
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. In conclusion, there are various reasons behind
poor
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the poor
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quality
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 of
education
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 in different
countries
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 around the world. It is
also
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 true that focusing on developing the
education
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system
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 continuously is very important to have a successful
education
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Correct your spelling
system
syst
Correct your spelling
system

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task achievement
Consider providing a more thorough exploration of the reasons behind the quality of education and the implications of each reason.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs by using more linking words and phrases to enhance coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Include a more definitive conclusion that summarizes the main points and reiterates the importance of the issue and proposed solutions.
coherence and cohesion
The essay presents a clear structure with a defined introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
Examples like Japan's focus on education after the Second World War effectively illustrate the points made.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • standardized testing
  • holistic learning
  • underfunding
  • resources
  • overcrowded classrooms
  • teacher salaries
  • curriculum
  • socioeconomic disparities
  • unequal access
  • professional development
  • educators
  • teaching practices
  • innovations
  • modern workplaces
  • advancements in technology
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