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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who are choosing to educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh the disadvantages

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Nowadays many
parents
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 in different countries choose to educate their
children
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 at
home
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 by themselves
instead
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 of sending them to regular school with teachers and students. In my opinion ,
this
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 is a negative trend and it has a lot of drawbacks .
This
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 essay will explain my reasons for my opinion . Teaching
children
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 at
home
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 needs at least one of the caregivers to be out of work experience and with full commitment to the educational process. That prevents one of the
parents
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 from working,
the
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and the
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 family will be dependent economically on one of the
parents
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,
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apply
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and will have a limited social
life
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.
In addition
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,
home
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-educated
children
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 will miss the chance to build relationships outside their family members. A good example to illustrate
this
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 is when the
child
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 studies at
home
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 he
will
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or will
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 just be under the supervision of his or her
parents
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 without communicating with other
children
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 in the same age group,
as a
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result
Add the comma(s)
result,
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 the
child
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 may suffer from social anxiety and isolation , which is difficult to be treated in the future.
On the other hand
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 ,
home
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schools
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 have flexible teaching hours , a lower rate of abuse or bullying cases, and cheaper methods for education.
In other words
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,
parents
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 do not need to pay for school admission as the
child
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 will study at
home
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,
also
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 the
parents
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 with their
child
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 can choose the study hours depending on their schedule. Multiple studies done to investigate
the
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apply
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violent behaviours among students, and the rate of bullying cases in
schools
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 is increasing leading to serious crimes and even mental issues .
Home
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schools
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 could help a variety of families in different situations , but impact the social
life
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 of the
child
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 negatively , which leads to future
life
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 problems and difficulty for them to become growing mature adults in a healthy balanced way. In conclusion , educating
children
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 in
schools
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 rather than in homes is a crucial option as it has a long-term effect on their growing process and social
life
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.
Home
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 school can provide the freedom for teaching ,economic balance , and a level of control over
the
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apply
show examples
outside factors , but that choice prevents the
child
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 from building relationships.

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task achievement
Expand on your main points with more specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that ideas flow logically from one to the next.
coherence and cohesion
Consider rephrasing some sentences for clarity and conciseness, as well as ensuring grammatical accuracy.
overall
Good structure with a clear introduction and conclusion, outlining your opinion effectively.
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