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Writing Samples
Band 7

Studying art in school improves students’ performance in other subjects because it is easier for multi-skilled students to learn new things. That’s why art should be obligatory in schools. Do you agree or disagree?

There is no denying that
art
Use synonyms
 plays a vital role in human development.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that some people argue that learning
art
Use synonyms
 in school enhances creativity and life skills, there is
also
Linking Words
 an argument that others believe it is not essential. In my view,I completely agree with
this
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 statement
art
Use synonyms
 has a significant impact on
students
Use synonyms
 and should be an integral part of education . On the one hand,
art
Use synonyms
 has become popular new , compared to ten years ago. Including
art
Use synonyms
 in the school curriculum contributes to the
overall
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 development of
students
Use synonyms
.
Art
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 forms
such
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 as drawing, music, and creative writing encourage imagination and self-expression.
Therefore
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, these skills are not only important for personal growth but
also
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 for facing real-world challenges. A study by Oxford University in 2023 found that 90% of individuals who engaged in creative activities reported greater life satisfaction and better problem-solving abilities.
As a result
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, teaching
art
Use synonyms
 in schools can help
students
Use synonyms
 become more well-rounded and emotionally intelligent.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some believe that
art
Use synonyms
 is not as important as academic subjects like math or science. They argue that
art
Use synonyms
 is mainly used for decoration and personal hobbies, and
thus
Linking Words
 should not be prioritized in formal education.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 perspective overlooks the role of
art
Use synonyms
 in communication, culture, and emotional well-being. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 some people think
art
Use synonyms
 is unnecessary in school, I strongly believe it should be a compulsory subject.
Art
Use synonyms
 fosters creativity, supports emotional health, and helps
students
Use synonyms
 develop skills that are essential for success in both personal and professional life.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your point of view in the introduction. Instead of using 'some people argue', directly mention your agreement or disagreement.
coherence
Try to use more linking words (like 'however', 'moreover') to connect your ideas. This will help improve the flow of your essay.
coherence
You provided a clear conclusion that summarizes your main points, which is well done.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • multi-skilled
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving
  • creativity
  • concentration
  • discipline
  • collaboration
  • self-esteem
  • cultural understanding
  • obligatory
  • academic performance
  • transferable skills
  • enhancing
  • approach
  • foundation
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