IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

students should pay their full university fees themselves. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is a view that students should close their university finances by themselves. And I totally disagree with
this
Linking Words
 notion for several reasons. Supporters of
this
Linking Words
 view claim that it is impossible, students recently ended school and do not have enough opportunity to make payment of the entire amount of the contract, as they are still too young and have not good back on their feet.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it can be extremely dangerous for both mental and physical health,
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that combining work and education is very challenging. And it may affect human health. Opponents of
this
Linking Words
 view argue that the duty of parents is to provide for children only up to the age of eighteen , and after the child comes of age, he must switch to self-sufficiency. A person is already at a conscious age and should prepare for adulthood, be able to be independent, solve their own problems by themself, and most importantly be independent of anyone. These skills will be useful in the future when the person starts his own family.
At the end
Linking Words
 of
this
Linking Words
 topic, can draw the conclusion that it be better if parents provided education for their own child, and paid for a university contract so that the student could study properly, concentrate only on studying and graduating from university, and
then
Linking Words
 fully provide for himself.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to clarify your stance in the introduction more effectively, such as by using phrases like 'I strongly disagree' instead of 'I totally disagree.' This can help set a clearer tone for your argument.
task achievement
Consider providing more concrete examples to support your arguments. For instance, mentioning specific pressures faced by students who work while studying can strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Clear transition words could help guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the conclusion by summarizing key points more thoroughly. This reinforces the main arguments and provides a stronger end to your essay.
content
You effectively present both sides of the argument, demonstrating an understanding of different perspectives.
task achievement
Your essay contains a clear opinion, which is important for responding to the prompt.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: