Many government spend a lot of money on art. Some people think this investment in art is necessary, but others say the money is better spent on improving health and education. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is a
phenomenam
Correct your spelling
phenomenon
phenomenal
phenomena
that
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
allocate a huge budget for
Use synonyms
art
Correct article usage
the art
show examples
sectors
Fix the agreement mistake
sector
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
some
people
Use synonyms
believe that
art
Use synonyms
is important, other
people
Use synonyms
believe that the budget allocation should
adress
Correct your spelling
address
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
beneficial aspects
such
Linking Words
as increasing
rate
Correct article usage
the rate
show examples
of
health
Use synonyms
and
education
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
essay will discuss both
perspective
Change to a plural noun
perspectives
show examples
. On the one hand, Expenditure
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
art
Use synonyms
is essential for the
country
Use synonyms
because
Art
Use synonyms
can be a
ways
Correct the article-noun agreement
way
show examples
to increase the
reveneu
Correct your spelling
revenue
of the
country
Use synonyms
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
from
music
Add an article
the music
show examples
industry.
For example
Linking Words
,
Singer
Fix the agreement mistake
singers
show examples
or group
band
Fix the agreement mistake
bands
show examples
music who
Add a missing verb
are fomous
show examples
fomous
Correct your spelling
famous
in the world can attract a lot of
tourist
Change to a plural noun
tourists
show examples
to see them
perfoming
Correct your spelling
performing
. Not only that, the
musician
Fix the agreement mistake
musicians
show examples
pay a lot of taxes
while
Linking Words
they
are conduct
Change the verb form
are conducting
show examples
the concert.
In addition
Linking Words
,
Art
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as paintings can
also
Linking Words
attract
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
to visit
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
country
Use synonyms
that
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
histrocial
Correct your spelling
historical
picture
Fix the agreement mistake
pictures
show examples
.
for example
Linking Words
, Many
people
Use synonyms
in the world visit the museum in
france
Change the capitalization
France
show examples
to view
monalisa
Change the capitalization
Monalisa
show examples
firsthand.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Health
Use synonyms
and
education
Use synonyms
must get attention from
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
rather than other aspects. Today many
people
Use synonyms
died
Wrong verb form
die
show examples
because of
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of
facility
Fix the agreement mistake
facilities
show examples
and
ability
Correct article usage
the ability
show examples
to afford the cost
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
health
Use synonyms
treatment. Because of
this
Linking Words
phonomenan
Correct your spelling
phenomenon
phenomena
, the
government
Use synonyms
should take care in terms of
increase
Change the form of the verb
increasing
show examples
life
Correct article usage
the life
show examples
rate and
also
Linking Words
in
Use synonyms
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
sectors
Fix the agreement mistake
sector
show examples
. the lack of attention to
education
Use synonyms
can be a serious problem
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
country
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
young
Add an article
the young
show examples
generation will
runs
Change the verb form
run
show examples
the
country
Use synonyms
one day. If the
govenrment
Correct your spelling
government
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
not take
of
Replace the word
off
show examples
this
Linking Words
, the
country
Use synonyms
will
outcompated
Correct your spelling
outcompeted
outcompete
with
others
Fix the agreement mistake
other countries
show examples
country
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
Art
Use synonyms
is essential to get the attention
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
, sector
health
Use synonyms
and
education
Use synonyms
more
Add a missing verb
is more
show examples
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
to get the most expenditure from
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
. with
art
Use synonyms
, A lot of
tourist
Change to a plural noun
tourists
show examples
will
attract
Wrong verb form
be attracted
show examples
to visit
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
country
Use synonyms
that
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
a famous musician or historical
art
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as paintings. In my opinion, the
government
Use synonyms
should
concern
Wrong verb form
be concerned
show examples
about
education
Use synonyms
and improving
health
Use synonyms
because it involves the future of the
country
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines both views and includes a clear thesis statement that reflects your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Improve transitions between ideas and paragraphs to enhance flow. For instance, using linking phrases like 'on the other hand' can help clarify contrasting points.
coherence and cohesion
Check for grammatical errors and typos for a more professional presentation. For example, 'phenomenam' should be 'phenomenon' and 'adress' should be 'address'.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples to support your points, which shows good engagement with the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay structure is clear with separate paragraphs for each viewpoint, which is essential for coherence.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural legacy
  • nation's history and identity
  • fosters creativity
  • economic benefits
  • tourism
  • art markets
  • quality of life
  • cultural understanding
  • productive population
  • personal and economic growth
  • fundamental for long-term development
  • well-being
  • immediate tangible benefits
  • abstract benefits
What to do next:
Look at other essays: