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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table shows the amount of money given to developing countries by the USA, EU countries and other countries from 2006 to 2010. (Figures are in millions of dollars). Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table shows the amount of money given to developing countries by the USA, EU countries and other countries from 2006 to 2010. (Figures are in millions of dollars). Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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This
Linking Words
 table illustrates the number of
money
Use synonyms
 that the
USA
Use synonyms
, EU and other
countries
Use synonyms
 have given to EC
countries
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, between the years 2006 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, throughout the years, all
countries
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 increased the
amount
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 of
money
Use synonyms
 that they gave. The
USA
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 took the lead with a significant
amount
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
European
Correct your spelling
Europe
show examples
 and other
countries
Use synonyms
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 relatively low. At the beginning of the time, the
USA
Use synonyms
 was the top country which gave the most
amount
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 of earnings with 9.8 million
while
Linking Words
 other
countries
Use synonyms
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 the lowest with 2.8 million. Eu was approximately the same with a 3.1.
Also
Linking Words
, other
countries
Use synonyms
 faced with fluctuations. The
money
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rise
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 until 2009 to 3,5,
then
Linking Words
 descended by 3,2.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
USA
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 experienced a gradual rise climbing to 20.3 in 2010.
In contrast
Linking Words
, other
countries
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 almost stayed stable and
not
Add a missing verb
did not
show examples
 experience upwards.
Moreover
Linking Words
, around these years there was rapid growth in the
amount
Use synonyms
 of
money
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, more than 10 million.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words money, usa, countries, amount with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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