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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below give information about the age of visitors from the UK to Spain in 1983 and in 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information about the age of visitors from the UK to Spain in 1983 and in 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The charts illustrate the
age
Use synonyms
 of visitors from the UK to Spain in 1983 and in 2003.
Overall
Linking Words
, visitors from Spain at the
age
Use synonyms
 of 35-54
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 in the majority ,
while
Linking Words
 teen tourists seemed to account for the least in
this
Linking Words
 survey.
In addition
Linking Words
, the middle-
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 fell to a dip in the data,
on the contrary
Linking Words
, the
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 from 16-24 rose to a peak of the pie. On the one hand, tourists from 55+, 0-15,
25
Correct word choice
and 25
show examples
-34
age
Use synonyms
 groups showed a considerable increase in 20 years, including 16-24 had enormously risen from 4% to 15%,
however
Linking Words
,
0
Correct article usage
the 0
show examples
-15
group
Use synonyms
 was slightly higher than the
last
Linking Words
 20 years, for around 2%. Especially, 55+ has significant growth when in 1983, the percentage was 16%
while
Linking Words
 taking a massive change in 2003,
difference
Add an article
a difference
the difference
show examples
 of 10%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it can clearly be seen that the
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 from 35 to 54,
from
Correct word choice
and from
show examples
 25 to 34 tended to decrease.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the
group
Use synonyms
 of adult British tourists (aged 25-34) who went to Spain accounted for 20% in 1983, fell by 8% and reached 12% in the final year of the survey.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, group with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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