IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Today, newspapers and televisions are giving detailed descriptions on crimes. Some people believe such a practice will cause bad consequences and thus media should be restricted. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some argue that
media
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 explaining everything about the
crime
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 could result in bad effects and
therefore
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media
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 should be limited. I completely agree with
this
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 statement because
this
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 could create a bad influence on people and
also
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normalizes
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normalize
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 thinking of illegal
activites
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activities
 among
public
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the public
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.
Media
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 explains all the intricate details of the
crime
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 that had taken place,
this
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 not only allows the offenders to repeat the same when they commit the exact
crime
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 but allows them to hide their mistake effectively without getting caught which gives them more confidence as to not accept their offence.
For example
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, Many serial killers after Jack The Ripper copied the exact same pattern of killings as the details of the
crime
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was
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were
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 clearly explained in the news articles because of which the upcoming killers
where
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were
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 not easily caught by the police.
Furthermore
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, constant exposure to graphic
crime
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 details normalizes unlawful
behavior
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behaviour
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 in society. When brutal acts are repeatedly sensationalized and dissected in news reports, they gradually lose their shock value. The public becomes acclimated to violence, and moral boundaries blur.
This
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 normalization effect is particularly damaging to youth, who may perceive criminal
behavior
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behaviour
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 as an acceptable means to gain attention or solve problems. In conclusion, unrestricted
crime
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 reporting undoubtedly contributes to increased criminal activity by providing both inspiration and technical knowledge to potential offenders.
While
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media
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 freedom is important, responsible reporting standards must be established to protect society from these demonstrably harmful effects.

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task response
Your introduction clearly states your position, which is good. However, it may help to slightly rephrase the question to frame your argument more directly within the context of the topic.
task response
Ensure that your main ideas are supported with more detailed explanations or examples. This will enhance your argument and depth of analysis. For example, providing specific statistics or studies could bolster your claims about youth being influenced by crime reporting.
coherence cohesion
Consider improving the connection between your points for better flow. Using transition phrases can help guide the reader and make your argument easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
In your conclusion, instead of reiterating your points, you might provide a brief recommendation or a reflection on the potential balance between media freedom and public safety. This would add depth to your conclusion.
task response
Your essay has a clear position, and you effectively communicate your agreement with the need to limit media coverage of crime.
task response
The arguments presented are relevant and demonstrate a thoughtful understanding of the potential impact of media on society.
task response
The use of examples and real-world references, like Jack The Ripper, adds credibility to your arguments and engages the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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