IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think one should stay all their life in the same job, whereas others advocate changing jobs from time to time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Staying in the same
job
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 throughout the life career is the best path, though other people advise changing from
time
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 to
time
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. Both views have their merits. Working in the same
job
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 throughout the working life
carrer
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career
 gives a lot of stability. People who stay in the same company over years benefit from
job
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 stability, steady income and maybe some good promotions and bonus programs for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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retirement.
Additionaly
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Additionally
 through the steady working field they
delelop
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develop
developed
 high expertise in their fields with lots of knowledge which is valuable for the enterprise.
Linking Words
Also
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Also,
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 it makes the surrounding climate in the company easier with good working relationships. In my
opinion
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opinion,
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 I find a stable work relationship important to gain expertise and knowledge but
also
Linking Words
 other factors are important for me
on
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in
show examples
 my personal life
career
Correct word choice
and career
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. On the other side changing the working position from
time
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 to
time
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 can offer
opportunity
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opportunities
show examples
 for growth and variety. Individuals who
swith
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switch
with
 companies
regulary
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regularly
 are more likely to gain different experiences. They can over
time
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 learn easily new skills and can adapt more rapidly to new situations which can make them more valuable
on
Change preposition
in
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 the
job
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 market.
Furthermore
Linking Words
 changing jobs from
time
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 to
time
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 can prevent people from boredom and
helps
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help
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 to
keept
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keep
 them motivated. I think that changing perspectives and new
imputs
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inputs
 from a variety of positions and companies is helpful to adapt more rapidly. In
conclusion
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conclusion,
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 a balanced
approuch
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approach
 between
a
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apply
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long term
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long-term
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 employment and
job
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 changes
ist
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is
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 important for a
succesfull
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successful
job
Use synonyms
 career.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus and that ideas flow logically from one to the next to enhance coherence.
task achievement
Improve the clarity of your opinions and arguments by providing more specific examples or details that support your points.
language and grammar
Pay attention to spelling and grammatical accuracy, which can affect the overall impression of your writing.
content
You have provided a balanced view of both sides of the argument, which is essential for this type of essay.
content
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main idea and presents a balanced perspective on the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • job security
  • stability
  • financial insecurity
  • expertise
  • advance their careers
  • promotions
  • pay raises
  • recognition
  • personal and professional growth
  • work environments
  • responsibilities
  • skill set
  • adaptability
  • job satisfaction
  • mental health
  • stuck
  • stagnant
  • lucrative
  • job offers
  • commitment
  • instability
  • retirement plans
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