IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries, it is mandatory for school children to wear uniform.Do the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?Five reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Linking Words
This
Correct determiner usage
These
show examples
 days around the world in many countries it is mandatory to be obligatory for
school
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students
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 to wear the
school
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uniform
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. Like boys,
school
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uniform
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 has both positive and negative
sides
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. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will examine
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sides
Correct article usage
the sides
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 of
school
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Use synonyms
uniform
Fix the agreement mistake
uniforms
show examples
 and try to draw some quick
conclusion
Fix the agreement mistake
conclusions
show examples
. I will start by looking at the disadvantage parts of the
uniform
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. One of the major points is uniforms limit student self-expression. Teenagers,
in particular
Linking Words
, are famous for needing to express their emotions and their tastes in music, fashion and through clothing, hair and piercings.
For example
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, in many
part
Change to a plural noun
parts
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Europe
school
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 teenagers dress differently. They do not
the
Add a missing verb
have the
show examples
 same
uniform
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such
Linking Words
 creativity is not suppressed in our
school
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. Because of that hundreds of
students
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 are scared of wearing
school
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Use synonyms
uniform
Fix the agreement mistake
uniforms
show examples
.
A yellow
Correct article usage
Yellow
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 shoes or purple slips of paper. One of the advantages of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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wearing
school
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 uniforms is all the
students
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 wear the same clothes, they do not compare with each other in terms of being rich or poor.
Second
Correct article usage
The second
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 positive
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sides
Fix the agreement mistake
side
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 is their
save
Replace the word
saving
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 time. When
students
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 wear
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uniform
Fix the agreement mistake
uniforms
show examples
, it helps them
in saving
Wrong verb form
save
show examples
 a lot of time as they do not have to select different clothes to wear to
school
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 every day. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 there are both advantages and disadvantages it is important to weigh both
sides
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 carefully. Depending on individual needs and circumstances the benefits may outweigh the drawbacks or vice versa. Making an informed decision is key. Personally, in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
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 it is better to wear someone's clothing or brand clothing than the
school
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uniform
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. (320)

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grammar
Make sure to proofread your work for minor grammatical errors and to enhance clarity, such as correcting phrases like 'This days' to 'These days' and 'the same uniform' to 'the same way.'
structure
Structure your arguments more clearly by using distinct paragraphs for advantages and disadvantages. This will help your readers follow your logic more easily.
examples
Provide specific examples to support your points clearly. For instance, mention specific countries or studies that demonstrate how uniforms impact self-expression or social comparison. This will strengthen your argument considerably.
content
You presented a balanced view by mentioning both advantages and disadvantages of school uniforms, which is crucial for this type of essay.
structure
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the discussion, which is a good practice in essay writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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