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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart shows annual office rents in five international cities in 2008 and 2013 ($US I square metre). The table shows office vacancy rates in those cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart shows annual office rents in five international cities in 2008 and 2013 ($US I square metre). The table shows office vacancy rates in those cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The charts provide key information about the annual office rents across five international
cities
Use synonyms
 and the office vacancy rates in those
cities
Use synonyms
 between 2008 and 2013.
Overall
Linking Words
,
City
Use synonyms
 B had the highest
prices
Use synonyms
 in terms of renting
offices
Use synonyms
 in both years,
also
Linking Words
 the availability of
offices
Use synonyms
 declined sharply
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period. The rent in
City
Use synonyms
 A increased slightly,
whereas
Linking Words
 it rose significantly in
City
Use synonyms
 C.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the office's unoccupancy and
prices
Use synonyms
 declined in
City
Use synonyms
 D throughout the timeframe. In 2008, the annual rent in
City
Use synonyms
 B
offices
Use synonyms
 cost more than the other
cities
Use synonyms
, accounting for 1,700$, and the vacancy
rate
Use synonyms
 was 7%, followed by
City
Use synonyms
 A and
City
Use synonyms
 C, costing 1,300$ and 1,000$ respectively,
while
Linking Words
 the occupation
rate
Use synonyms
 was 6% and 9%.
City
Use synonyms
 D and
City
Use synonyms
 E had the most affordable
prices
Use synonyms
 and the highest vacancy
rate
Use synonyms
. By 2013,
City
Use synonyms
 B experienced a noticeable growth in the
prices
Use synonyms
 of rents, reaching 2,200$,
also
Linking Words
 the availability of
offices
Use synonyms
 was reduced to 2%,
whereas
Linking Words
City
Use synonyms
A
Change noun form
A's
show examples
prices
Use synonyms
 increased slightly to about 1,800$, and the
rate
Use synonyms
 was reduced to 4%. Other
cities
Use synonyms
, including E, and C, showed a significant rise to around 1,600$ and 700$ respectively, and the unoccupancy
rate
Use synonyms
 declined to 6% and 9%. Meanwhile,
City
Use synonyms
 D faced a reduction in the rent cost and a notable surge in the number of unoccupied
offices
Use synonyms
, falling to 600$ and 24%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, whereas".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cities, city, prices, offices, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reduced" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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