IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Today, in modern society, fast food is growing and playing an important role in daily life. Many people think it has many benefits, but other don’t agree. Let’s consider what are the advantages and disadvantages of convenience food.

Over the course of the
last
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 decades, fast
food
Use synonyms
 items have become extremely popular all around the world.
Although
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this
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 trendy cuisine offers various advantages,
such
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 as availability and affordability, its side effects on our health cannot be neglected.
Initially
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, in
this
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 fast-paced world,
that
Correct word choice
where
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 everyone is always in
rush
Correct article usage
a rush
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, people prefer to prepare a processed edible, rather than
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
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 hours cooking in the kitchen.
For instance
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, a recent poll by the UK government found that more than 60% of the English eat pre-cooked
food
Use synonyms
 for dinner.
In addition
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 to that, purchasing a fast
food
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 item is generally cheaper than making a full meal at home.
In other words
Linking Words
, preparing a dish from scratch is far more expensive than buying a hot and tasty sandwich
together with
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 some french fries from KFC.
Nevertheless
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, eating fast
food
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 in excess has some drastic downsides.
Firstly
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,
this
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 eating habit can create some serious health issues, like obesity and diabetes. In 2023, Cambridge University discovered that over-utilization of fast
food
Use synonyms
 that contains
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
volume
Fix the agreement mistake
volumes
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 of sugar and fat
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 can hamper our brain’s performance,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 may result in
stroke
Add an article
a stroke
show examples
.
Secondly
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,
this
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 kind of cooking style is mainly based on freezing and frying the ingredients.
Therefore
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, these meals lack essential nutrients like fiber, vitamins and minerals, that are abundant in fresh meat and vegetables. In summary, there is an ever-growing demand for fast
food
Use synonyms
 in many countries.
While
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this
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 convenience
food
Use synonyms
 helps us to save time and energy, it can create serious illnesses.

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task achievement
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion of fast food, but a clearer thesis statement outlining the main ideas could strengthen it. Try to explicitly state that you will discuss both advantages and disadvantages in your introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Although you have a good logical flow, using more transition words can enhance your coherence. For example, phrases like 'On one hand' and 'On the other hand' can help guide the reader more clearly through your arguments.
task achievement
While you present relevant examples, adding a few more varied examples could help to illustrate your points further, especially regarding the disadvantages of fast food and its health effects.
positive
Your essay presents a balanced view of the topic, showcasing both advantages and disadvantages of fast food, which is a strong approach for this type of essay.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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