IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Recent technological developments have greatly changed our ways of life in a positive way. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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In
today
Change noun form
today's
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 era,
technology
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 plays
an
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a
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 significant role
to
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in
show examples
 the development of
country
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the country
a country
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. It has updated and impacted the
people
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people's
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 lifestyle in a positive manner. In my
Correct your spelling
opinion
opnion
Add a comma
opnion,
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 it has both positive and negative
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
 that will
discuss
Wrong verb form
be discussed
show examples
 with explanation in the upcoming paragraphs. Looking at the positive
side
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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technology
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, new innovation makes
Correct article usage
the masses
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masses
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masses'
mass's
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 easier in various ways
such
Linking Words
 as online jobs, study, shopping, and
businesses
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business
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. These
innvovations
Correct your spelling
innovations
 help
individials
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individuals
 to save their
time
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 and money
of
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on
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 vehicle fuel.
For example
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, a businessman has
very
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a very
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 busy lifestyle and
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
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 not have enough
time
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 to
spen
Correct your spelling
spend
 with family, but the development of online employment
save
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saves
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their
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the
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time
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 that they can spend with their loved ones. Another great example in
favor
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favour
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 of students, learners can
also
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 develop their skills and earn some money by doing
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
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time
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 jobs
becasue
Correct your spelling
because
 they can join their school online.
In contrast
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, It
also
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 has many negative sides, one possible
side
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 effect is less social development and bonding.
Due to
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 the improvement of
technology
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, inhabitants prefer to stay home and spend their leisure
time
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 on
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
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 and mobile phones which reduces the social interactions among people. To exemplify, juveniles spend their most of
time
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to play
Change the verb form
playing
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vedio
Correct your spelling
video
 games and watching TV
instead
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 of playing in
playground
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the playground
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 with friends.
Moreover
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, if residents do not show interest in outdoor activities
then
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 it
effects
Replace the word
affects
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the
Change the word
their
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 mental and physical health. For illustration, it is true that
human
Correct article usage
the human
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 body
need
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needs
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 fresh air and
excerise
Correct your spelling
exercise
 to grow healthy and well. In conclusion, innovation has not only
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
side
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 but
also
Linking Words
 has
negative
Add an article
a negative
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side
Use synonyms
. It totally depends on the human how they use the
technology
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 in their life. Humankind should limit the new gadgets
use
Wrong verb form
used
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 in their daily activities to
maintian
Correct your spelling
maintain
 health and relationships.

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task achievement
Consider refining your thesis statement to clearly indicate your stance on the topic and outline the aspects you will discuss.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph holds a clear main idea and supports your argument. Furthermore, make sure that the transition between ideas is smoother for better flow.
language
Pay attention to spelling and grammar; correct errors will enhance the overall professionalism of your writing.
content
You present a balanced view of the topic by discussing both positive and negative aspects, which is commendable.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • advancements
  • connectivity
  • interconnected
  • revolutionized
  • diagnostics
  • telemedicine
  • e-commerce
  • digital payment systems
  • convenience
  • accessibility
  • enhanced
  • online learning platforms
  • flexible learning
  • automation
  • safety
  • energy efficiency
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