IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some children spend hours every day on their phones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive ar negative development?

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Gadgets are impacting
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
kids
Change noun form
kids'
kid's
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 negatively in
this
Linking Words
 contemporary world. They tend to use mobiles more often in a day .
As a result
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 had made brilliant minds affected their growth.
However
Linking Words
, I strongly believe drawbacks
plays
Correct subject-verb agreement
play
show examples
dominant
Add an article
a dominant
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 role here. There are lots of disadvantages
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 using frequent gadgets .
However
Linking Words
, some of them

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the main points you will discuss in the essay.
Task Achievement
Try to provide specific examples to support your arguments, which can strengthen your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to have a clear conclusion that summarizes your views and provides a closing statement.
Content
You have identified a relevant and contemporary issue concerning children's use of gadgets.
Argumentation
Your opinion on the drawbacks of gadget use is clearly expressed, which is a good start for argumentation.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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