IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The rise of convenience foods has helped people keep up with the speed of the modern life style. What are the advantages of this trend? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The
conveniece
Correct your spelling
convenience
foods
Use synonyms
 have become a fad for the citizens around the world, especially the the metropolis. Here, I would like to explain why it is a double-edged sword and the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.
First,
Linking Words
conveinece
Correct your spelling
convenience
food
Use synonyms
 really speeds up the pace of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people and
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
 a convenient and diverse culinary way. For the hectic citizens, we may not have enough
time
Use synonyms
 for eating,
not to mention
Linking Words
 cooking. Under the pressure and burden of city life, most of us would not like to switch on the fire, dice all the ingredients and wipe the dishes after the only break
time
Use synonyms
. For
convenience
Use synonyms
food
Use synonyms
, it is needless to cook and
save
Correct subject-verb agreement
saves
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 for
food
Use synonyms
 preparation, what we need to do is simply
putting
Wrong verb form
put
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
 in the microwave oven and
waiting
Wrong verb form
wait
show examples
 for three minutes which really benefits the life of our own. Eating
convenience
Use synonyms
foods
Use synonyms
 does facilitate our living efficiency and provides
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 for us to take a break. Meanwhile, with the fruitful choices of the
convenience
Use synonyms
foods
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as pizza, pasta or even Chinese dim sum, the
foods
Use synonyms
 provide a wide context of options for the eaters to enjoy,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
some of
them
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 may even be very complicated to cook.
For instance
Linking Words
, 82% of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Hong Kong and Singapore citizens have put
convenience
Use synonyms
foods
Use synonyms
 as their first option
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a fast meal, saying that it
does save
Wrong verb form
saves
show examples
time
Use synonyms
,
preserve
Correct subject-verb agreement
preserves
show examples
 excellent flavours and
exclude
Correct subject-verb agreement
excludes
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cleaning afterwards. The above example illustrates that
convenience
Use synonyms
foods
Use synonyms
 facilitate our living rhythm and
provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
show examples
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
 experience of eating.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, it is
also
Linking Words
 harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 us if we prioritise
conveniece
Correct your spelling
convenience
foods
Use synonyms
 as
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 culinary option
due to
Linking Words
 the irreversible body harm they
brought
Wrong verb form
bring
show examples
.
According to
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university research, the process of
conveience
Correct your spelling
convenience
conveyance
foods
Use synonyms
manufacture
Wrong verb form
manufacturing
show examples
 mostly
implement
Correct subject-verb agreement
implements
show examples
 a lot of chemicals e.g. sodium, aspartame; additives and preservatives into the
food
Use synonyms
 in a bid to lengthen the preservation period. Meanwhile, for the sake of the flavour,
they
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 producers tend to put a wide range of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
harmful substances to provide a better texture and
mult-layered
Correct your spelling
multi-layered
 flavours e.g. MSG. Overtaking the above substance may result in some irreversible chronic diseases e.g. diabetes, obesity, heart attack etc. Meanwhile, to achieve
balanced
Add an article
a balanced
show examples
 diet, it is impossible for us to intake
convenience
Use synonyms
foods
Use synonyms
 only as most of the producers take the preservation period and customers'
preference
Fix the agreement mistake
preferences
show examples
 into consideration, the major product choices shift into sugary
food
Use synonyms
 and meat which the customers are unable to absorb the other nutrients
such
Linking Words
 as carbohydrates, dietary fibre etc.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The introduction provides a thesis but could be clearer in stating the main points that will be discussed. Try to outline the advantages and disadvantages more distinctly.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that the spelling and grammar are correct. For example, 'convenience' is misspelled as 'conveniece' and 'the metropolis' should be 'metropolises'.
task achievement
Include a more concise conclusion that summarizes the main arguments presented in the essay. It should clearly state your position on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced discussion of the advantages and disadvantages of convenience foods, which is commendable.
task achievement
The examples provided, such as the statistics regarding citizens in Hong Kong and Singapore, demonstrate an effort to include specific evidence to support your points.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: