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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The number of tv programs is growing. Some people say that it is good while others say it affects the quality of tv programs

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There is a debate over The number of new
TV
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 shows
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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growing
While
Linking Words
 some say new
medias
Change the noun form
media
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 growth is
marvelous
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marvellous
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, some argue that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Too many new
TV
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programs
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 can damage the quality of
TV
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 programming. In spite of the fact that
TV
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programs
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offering
Wrong verb form
offer
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 numerous schemes, I believe that if there are too many
TV
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programs
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 the effect of
this
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 can be a series that explores how individuals grow businesses, ideas, or movements. On the one hand, the
TV
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 media is the best source, since it
has-necessetate
Correct your spelling
has-necessitated
has-necessitate
 contemporary facts.
Moreover
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, it can
be encompass
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encompass
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 a wide variety of content broadcast on
television
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, by providing a variety range of content.
In addition
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,
Television
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 program growth refers to the increasing quantity, diversity, and technological advancement of
television
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 content available to viewers.
This
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 includes the evolution of
television
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 technology itself, from black and white to
color
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colour
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 and
then
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 to smart TVs,
as well as
Linking Words
 the proliferation of various programming genres and platforms. 
To give
Verb problem
For
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an
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apply
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instance, The
TV
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 and video market is experiencing growth, with projections indicating a significant increase in revenue.
On the other hand
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, Increasing
TV
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 program consumption can lead to negative consequences, particularly for children and individuals who watch excessively.
Moreover
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, it can
also
Linking Words
 affect the quality of
TV
Use synonyms
programs
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. These include negative impacts on sleep, mental health, physical activity, and
overall
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 well-being. It can
also
Linking Words
 affect school performance and lead to a sense of isolation. If programmers want to increase the number of new
TV
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programs
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, they must produce
programs
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 that are accurate and useful because these things can affect people's lives. To summarize what has been stated so far, to increase new
television
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programs
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 these have to be dependable and true facts, I will strongly oppose
to
Change preposition
apply
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this
Linking Words
 increasing number of
TV
Use synonyms
programs
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, as it gives me inexplicable access.

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Task Achievement
Clarify your main argument in the introduction. Make sure your thesis statement is strong and clearly states your position.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that all sentences within the paragraph support that idea. This will improve the logical structure of your essay.
Task Achievement
Use more specific examples and details to support your points. This could include statistics or research findings that reinforce your arguments.
Task Achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument, which demonstrates an understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your vocabulary is varied, showing a good range of language skills.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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