IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

A healthy diet is more effective for keeping fit than exercise. What is your opinion

It is considered by many that a controlled and nutritious diet can impact more than
exercise
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, in my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
opinion,
show examples
 a combination of a healthy intake and physical activity will have an all-around effect on our bodies. It will not only make us physically fit but
improves
Correct subject-verb agreement
improve
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 our mental health too. There is no doubt that we need to maintain and keep our food intake in check. All the
nutritionist
Fix the agreement mistake
nutritionists
show examples
 recommend that one must make sure that all the proteins, carbohydrates, fats and other essential minerals are included in the meals. It will not only keep us full for
longer
Correct article usage
a longer
show examples
 period of time but
also
Linking Words
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
 our organs to do necessary activities in
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 most efficient manner possible, thereby resulting in longer life spans.
Additionally
Linking Words
, it is equally important to follow a daily routine that includes some form of
exercise
Use synonyms
 or gym because our mental health is directly linked
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 our physical health. When we
exercise
Use synonyms
 we sweat and burn energy leading to the balance of requirement and consumption of calories.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
exercise
Use synonyms
 gives us
flexibility
Change the article
the flexibility
show examples
 to eat more food. In conclusion, I opine that one should follow a routine that concentrates both on diet and physical activity. It is not possible to
a
Add a missing verb
have a
show examples
prosperous life following only a diet plan or doing solely the
exercise
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Your essay effectively presents a balanced opinion on the topic. To enhance task achievement, ensure that all main points are fully developed with deeper explanations.
task achievement
Incorporating more specific examples or statistics to support your arguments would strengthen your overall argument and make it more persuasive.
coherence and cohesion
Work on linking your ideas more smoothly in the body paragraphs, as this will improve the flow and coherence of your essay.
positive
The introduction presents a clear opinion that sets the tone for the essay.
positive
You have managed to include both sides of the argument effectively, which adds depth to your discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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