Science will soon make it possible for people to live until 100 years, perhaps even to 200 years. Some people think that this would be a good thing. Others think that it would cause many problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is often argued that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the advancement of science is moving toward increasing the
overall
Linking Words
lifespan of a person to a higher number. Few are in favour of
this
Linking Words
opinion
whereas
Linking Words
others think
this
Linking Words
comes with multiple issues.
This
Linking Words
essay will discuss both viewpoints before presenting the opinion. On the one hand,
this
Linking Words
had multiple positives like the younger generation can learn from older, who already have experience in a field and an individual would tend to contribute to the
overall
Linking Words
well-being of society by contributing positively toward the upliftment by giving valuable feedback and suggestions from past.
For example
Linking Words
, a human involved in scientific research would be able to spend more time on study and make great discoveries which are sometimes not completed
due to
Linking Words
the demise of
a
Change the article
an
show examples
individual at the final stage.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
brings multiple drawbacks as the government would have to accommodate the greater population and create more job opportunities for the older generation
along with
Linking Words
the younger generation.
This
Linking Words
would have other adverse impacts on the economy of a country as the majority of the budget would be allocated to the health department.
Along with
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, the infrastructure should
also
Linking Words
revamped to house the increased population
due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
impact.
For instance
Linking Words
, a country with a higher life expectancy tends to spend more on healthcare which can be seen in the recent report published in The Times of India on
overall
Linking Words
spending VS sectors by countries. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
action would bring a lot of experience in place and help people learn easily from experienced
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
. But
this
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
has a major impact in terms of job creation and is difficult to maintain
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
growth. In my opinion, there are more problems to the view and
this
Linking Words
would have numerous cascading impacts.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Consider rephrasing the introduction for improved clarity and flow. A more straightforward introduction can set a clearer tone for your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has clear topic sentences and that they directly relate to the main question. This will help in better structuring your argument and maintaining focus.
task achievement
Expand on your examples to make them more relevant and detailed. This will strengthen your arguments and provide clearer support for your points.
coherence and cohesion
In the conclusion, focus on summarizing your main arguments without introducing new ideas. This will help in reinforcing your overall message more effectively.
task achievement
Good attempt to discuss both perspectives on the topic, showing understanding of the issue.
task achievement
The use of examples adds depth to your arguments, which is commendable.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: