.A few languages are increasingly spoken in different countries , while the use of others is rapidly declining . Is it a positive or negative development ?

In modern society , there is a tendency that a small number of
languages
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are becoming dominant in the world,
while
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many others are
being
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becoming
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less
spoker
Correct your spelling
spoke
poker
spoken
. in my opinion ,
this
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trend could bring both positive and negative
To begin
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with , there are substantial benefits to society when many countries share common
languages
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. The first advantage
can be
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is
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easier cross-cultural communication , which helps boost multilateral trade and cultural exchange . It is true that people who are bilingual or multilingual might find it easier to do business or work in an international environment as their issues at work can be addressed and discussed thoroughly .
Furthermore
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, by acquiring
languages
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which are commonly used in business , science and technology , people from the second world accelerate the process of learning from the superpowers .
For example
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: India has achieved
such
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incredible growth partly by using English as their official
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languages
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language
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. Despite the great convenience of sharing common
languages
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, the fact other
languages
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are less spoken can bring several drawbacks . The first disadvantage can be that communities would lose parts of their cultural traditions
such
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as songs , myths or poetry which are basically hard to
be translated
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translate
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into another language .
This
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may in turn affect their cultural identity producing a weakened social cohesion as their values and traditions would be replaced by some new ones .
Moreover
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,
this
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trend affects not only local culture but
also
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the civilization of mankind . If all countries use the common language
instead
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of using their own , it will gradually destroy the cultural diversity of the world . In conclusion,
although
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I believe the trend is inevitable in the era of globalization, people need to
have
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take
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measures to protect their
less spoken
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less-spoken
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languages
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as a way to preserve their cultural identity.

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Language
Make sure to use correct spelling, such as 'spoken' instead of 'spoker'. Also, try to avoid repetition of phrases. For instance, 'share common languages' is used multiple times; consider varying your vocabulary.
Task Response
In your introduction, clearly state whether you believe the trend is primarily positive or negative, as this helps frame your argument.
Task Response
When you discuss the drawbacks, be sure to expand on your examples for a more comprehensive explanation. You mentioned losing parts of cultural traditions, but providing specific examples could strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically structured with clear paragraphs that present distinct ideas. The introduction and conclusion are well-defined, providing a clear framework for the reader.
Task Achievement
You used relevant examples, such as India's use of English, which helps to clarify your points and demonstrates effective application of real-world context.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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