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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that the teenager years are the happiest times of most people's lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spide of greater responsibilities. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

According to
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 some people, the most delightful time of
life
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 is the teenage years,
however
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, other people have an idea that the adulthood years are the happiest. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss
both
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 opinions
also
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 give my view as well. Proponents of the former view think that, in the teenage years there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 less stress because they have fewer responsibilities. Everything from money to food is provided by their parents. They do not have to worry about going to a job and paying the bills.
In addition
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 to
this
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, they can enjoy
life
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 without having the stress of job loss.
Moreover
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, they do not have to maintain a work-
life
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 balance, which is the most difficult thing in today's
life
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. On the other side, those who think that adult
life
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 is happier because they are free of stress about
the
Change the word
their
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 studies. They do not always have permission to go to their favourite places. They can go wherever they want to be. They can
take
Correct your spelling
make
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 their decision on their own. In my opinion, the happiest
life
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 of the year depends on our satisfaction. If we are happy on the inside it does not matter whether we are
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
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 or adults.
Both
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 phases of
life
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 come with different obstacles. So, I think that we should enjoy
both
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 phases in our own way. In conclusion, I want to add that it is true that teenage
life
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 and adult
life
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both
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 have responsibilities.
However
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, it totally depends upon the individual how are they going spend their
life
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 along taking happiness with them.

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Task Achievement
Try to provide clear examples to support your points. For instance, when discussing how teenagers have fewer responsibilities, you could share specific activities or experiences that illustrate this.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs clearly relate to the main argument. For example, you could strengthen the paragraph on adult happiness by discussing specific responsibilities that contribute to adult satisfaction.
General
Work on the clarity and precision of your language. There are minor grammatical errors (e.g., 'the happiest life of the year' should be 'the happiest time of life'). Proofreading can help catch these issues.
Content
You effectively present both views on the topic, showing a balance in discussing teenage and adult happiness.
Engagement
Your personal opinion adds depth to the essay and encourages readers to reflect on their own perspectives.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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