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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many feel that the common educational system of teachers and students in a classroom will be replaced by the year 2050. Do you agree with this view? Give your opinion.

Whilst it is believed that alternative methods will replace traditional schooling by 2050, I believe it is hard to create human connections and relationships
as well as
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 develop moral and ethical
values
Use synonyms
 by any means of education but the teacher and student educational method.
To begin
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 with, school is considered a second home for children, and teachers treat their pupils as their own kids.
Such
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 kinds of relationships are built to make
students
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 comfortable
while
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 studying in the classroom,
hence
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 they can ask any questions related to their studies, which obviously helps them to score higher in exams.
Whereas
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 most of the other methods of study are available online only and can be accessed 24 hours a day,
students
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 can not clarify their problems as there is no human connection in
such
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 kind of educational method;
for instance
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, a survey was conducted in Harvard university, and 95% of
students
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 strongly agreed that traditional schooling system is more beneficial than online learning.
Nonetheless
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,
students
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 interact with their tutors in classrooms every day;
therefore
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, after their families, it is the teacher who can shape their future and enhance their lifestyles by developing moral and ethical
values
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 in them.
However
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, alternative educational methods can not teach
students
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 about their surroundings and how to behave in public confidently. To exemplify, research was done on
students
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 from different schools and 90% of pupils had different
values
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such
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 as their presentation style was based on what they were taught at their institutions.
To conclude
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,
although
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 there are tremendous options available for education, the teacher and student schooling system will not be replaced by
such
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 kind of educational method because the traditional educational system not only teaches to build connections and relationships with others but
also
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 develops required life
values
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Ensure that each point is thoroughly explained with detailed examples and reasoning to enhance clarity and impact.
coherence and cohesion
Consider breaking down longer sentences for better readability and to strengthen the overall flow of the essay.
task achievement
Make sure to use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your argumentation and avoid repetition.
task achievement
The argument highlighting the importance of human connection in education is well presented and relatable.
coherence and cohesion
There is a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which aids readability.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • artificial intelligence (AI)
  • machine learning
  • online learning platforms
  • virtual reality (VR)
  • personalized AI tutors
  • tailored educational experiences
  • human interaction
  • mentor
  • inspire
  • psychological needs
  • group discussions
  • teamwork
  • social aspects of learning
  • critical life skills
  • digital-only format
  • hybrid model
  • educational accessibility
  • personalization
  • facilitating learning
  • curiosity
  • innovation
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