Some people think that exercise is the key to health, while others feel that havinv a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

It's often argued whether sport or a diet is more crucial in improving
overall
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health
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.
While
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some believe that exercising keeps your
body
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fit and boosts mental well-being, others would argue that healthy eating habits are more important because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
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necessary nutrients and
prevents
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prevent
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diseases. On one hand, those who support physical activities claim that staying in shape is key to being healthy because it increases energy levels and endurance.
Therefore
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, it helps to feel more active and capable throughout the day, rather than only relying on food. Being able to accomplish daily tasks and staying productive affects your
health
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state. From my experience, walking or simple stretching helps me to gain more energy and succeed in my school, house chores, and social activities.
Furthermore
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, exercise is
also
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linked to
a
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apply
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better mental
health
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. Doing sports releases endorphins, which can reduce stress, anxiety, and depression. It improves one's
overall
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mood and cognitive function. To reach a healthy and happier lifestyle, it's essential to regularly do sports or even walk
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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ensures stable mental well-being. Personally, playing volleyball in my free time distracts me from academic stress and anxiety. It
also
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helps me to relax my
body
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and mind at the same time
,
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apply
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and
avoiding
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avoid
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burnout.
On the other hand
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, it is believed that consuming wholesome food is more beneficial
due to
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the necessary nutrients
such
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as vitamins, minerals, proteins, healthy fats, and carbohydrates. It supplies
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body
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the body
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with healthy elements needed for proper functioning. Without it,
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body
Add an article
the body
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lacks energy,
vitamins
Correct word choice
and vitamins
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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worsen
Correct subject-verb agreement
worsens
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overall
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health
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.
Moreover
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,
proper
Correct article usage
a proper
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diet strengthens muscles,
improves
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and improves
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skin, and
a
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the
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smooth work of organs. To that end, it enhances the immune system and helps fight off diseases, including heart disease, diabetes, and obesity. Preventing illnesses increases lifestyle, life expectancy, and
overall
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health
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, avoiding costly treatment.
To conclude
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,
although
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both views have their merits, I believe that striking a balance between a healthy diet and exercising is crucial because they both equally improve
overall
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well-being and complement each other in many different ways.

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Task Achievement
Consider providing more comprehensive arguments for each side of the discussion to enhance the depth of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure to maintain a more logical flow of ideas, particularly when transitioning between arguments. Connect your points clearly for better coherence.
Task Achievement
Try to include more specific examples or statistics to strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive.
Positive Highlight
Your introduction presents the topic clearly and sets the context for the discussion effectively.
Positive Highlight
You’ve provided personal experiences which make your argument relatable and engaging.
Positive Highlight
Your conclusion nicely summarizes your main argument and reflects the balanced perspective you've laid out in the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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