Topic 8: Students should be taught academic knowledge so that they can pass exams, and skills such as cooking or dressing should not be taught. To what extent do you agree/disagree?

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Education is an important part of every individual's life. Without education, it becomes difficult for a person to survive in
fast-paced
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a fast-paced
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environment. Teachers should be taught different subjects thoroughly in order to make them capable of passing them rather than teaching how to cook or dress appropriately. I partially agree with the given statement which will be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
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with, academic knowledge is required to clear exams in
school
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. Whatever is taught by the teacher will come in the exam.
This
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is a process of going from elementary
school
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to high
school
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,
then
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college. Without passing those exams, students will reach their desired goals in
Correct article usage
the partcular
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partcular
Correct your spelling
particular
field. To cite an example, every student wants to choose the best college or university after
school
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.They could get
this
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opportunity
,
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apply
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if they pass with
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a
the
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required score or sometimes go through the entrance exam. All these requirements can be met with only academic knowledge.
On the other hand
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, these days, every person is migrating to different countries or cities for better job opportunities. Living alone involves many activities , especially cooking
food
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.
Person
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People
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with few cooking skills can make a healthy and balanced diet for themselves rather than having outside
food
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.
Thus
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, healthy
food
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provides proper nutrients and minerals.
However
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, outside
food
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will adversely affect your health.
For instance
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, a recent survey has shown that people who know about cooking are facing fewer health-related issues as compared to those who don't know anything about cooking.
Moreover
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, dressing properly reflects your personality. Having a sense of dressing up will make your first always memorable.People with a good choice of clothes can easily impress anyone , especially at events and interviews. In conclusion, academic knowledge is important but other skills like cooking or dressing cannot be neglected. These skills are
also
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useful in later life especially when you are living alone in big cities.

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Task Achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position, but it could benefit from a more detailed thesis statement outlining the key points you will discuss.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is generally structured well, but consider adding transition phrases to improve the flow between your ideas more seamlessly.
Task Achievement
While you provide some relevant examples, including more specific or varied examples could strengthen your arguments in both body paragraphs.
Task Achievement
You effectively highlight the importance of both academic knowledge and life skills in your conclusion, showing a balanced view.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your understanding of the topic is quite clear, and you present your arguments logically, which helps the reader follow your thoughts.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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