IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Media coverage of violent crime frightens people and encourages criminals. Some people say it should be banned from newspapers and TV programmes. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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It is argued that
media
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 reportage of violent
crime
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 should be forbidden in the
media
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, including newspapers and TV programmes  because  it terrifies people and inspires criminals. 
While
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 I acknowledge that restricting
media
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coverage
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 of serious
crime
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 may desensitize the public to violence,  I believe that allowing it has  positive impacts on people. One  primary reason why banishing
such
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coverage
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 may lead to
desensitization
Correct article usage
the desensitization
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people
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of people
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 to violence ,
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is as
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as
Correct word choice
that
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  it brings about
glorification
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the glorification
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 of
crime
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 and encourages  offenders.
This
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 is to say,  it can contribute to an increase in aggression. 
For example
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,  in December 2024, the government of Niger suspended the BBC
to
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for
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 three months and it
accused
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was accused
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 of spreading false information about an extremist attack. 
As a result
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,  some countries have taken measures to restrict or regulate the
coverage
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 of violent crimes.
However
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,  I
also
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 think that allowing news
coverage
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 is crucial in helping governments reveal violent
of
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apply
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crimes. 
While
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 it can aid
to
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in
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 preventative  measures against serious
crime
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, it brings to light criminal activities. 
This
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 means
,
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apply
show examples
 
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crime
Correct word choice
that crime
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 reporting ethics - the right to give information  - demands  responsible journalism and the social responsibility of the
media
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as well as
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 a thorough investigation of crimes.
For instance
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,  investigative journalism has exposed numerous corruption scandals worldwide.  If the
media
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 were restricted from reporting
such
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 cases, corruption thrive uncontrolled. 
While
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 I acknowledge that
media
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 reportage of violent
crime
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 has several drawbacks,  I
also
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 believe that allowing
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
media
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coverage
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 can help to reduce
crime
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 rates in many countries.

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Task Achievement
Clarify the argument in the introduction. Make a more explicit statement about your stance rather than just acknowledging both sides.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that summarizes the main idea, which would help guide the reader through your argument.
Task Achievement
Use more specific examples to strengthen your argument. For example, provide statistical evidence or studies that illustrate the effects of media coverage on crime rates or public perception.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a balanced view of both sides of the argument, which is important for critical analysis.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a clear attempt to connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs, which improves readability.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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