IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that international tourism is beneficial, while others believe it creates problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

A number of individuals believe that global tourism has
most
Correct article usage
the most
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 useful benefits, but others disagree with
this
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 statement. The essay will discuss both views
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
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 topic. Undoubtedly,
the
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apply
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tourism is
valuable
Add an article
a valuable
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 experience for the government to support a level of culture in regions and economic areas as well.
Nevertheless
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, the travel industry has disadvantages,
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
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 damage to cultural museums, historic buildings, and architectural features of landmarks, and all of them are key parts of the country’s heritage.
Not to mention
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 other issues, like
an
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apply
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environmental damage, overcrowding and economic dependence
due to
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 many factors.
As
Correct your spelling
An
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 example is Maldives, these islands are famous among humans for rest.
However
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, the
economic
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economy
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 of
this
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 country is
depended
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dependent
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 on
the
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apply
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people from other regions, and during
the
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apply
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COVID-19, Maldives lost about 20-30 million dollars per year
due to
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lack
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a lack
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 of visitors. On
other
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the other
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 hand,
the
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apply
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international travel could support global relationships between nations, particularly
the
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apply
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governments.
Besides
Linking Words
 that, in order to attract and support visitors, the government improve roads, airports, public transportation, and other facilities that
also
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 benefit
for
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apply
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local individuals.
In addition
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, the advantage can be
cultural
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a cultural
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 exchange, the
travelers
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travellers
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 conducted many different study programs for learning about traditions, languages, and lifestyles,
while
Linking Words
 local communities started to exchange knowledge from the national culture.
For instance
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, in
International
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an International
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 conference between presidents of various republics in 1998 in Poland, most of
heads
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the heads
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 shared some comments and opinions with newspapers about history, traditions and dishes
on
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at
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 the international fair. In conclusion, global tourism has both sides. But if it is well planned, it can help countries grow and people understand each other better.

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task achievement
Improve the clarity of your introduction and conclusion to better frame your argument and summarize key points.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance the connection between your ideas by using more cohesive devices, such as linking words and phrases.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or data to support your arguments for both views, ensuring that they are relevant and clearly explained.
task achievement
You have presented both views of international tourism, fulfilling the task's requirement to discuss multiple perspectives.
task achievement
Your essay includes some relevant examples that illustrate your points, which is a strength in supporting your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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