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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The two bar charts show the proportion of 14-16 year-old students studying a modern foreign language in an English speaking country, and the top three popular foreign languages. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The two bar charts show the proportion of 14-16 year-old students studying a modern foreign language in an English speaking country, and the top three popular foreign languages. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The two graphs illustrate the percentage of
students
Use synonyms
 aged 14 to 16 who studied a modern
foregin
Correct your spelling
foreign
 language in an
English speaking
Add a hyphen
English-speaking
show examples
 country and the percentage of popular foreign
languages
Use synonyms
 that
students
Use synonyms
 learned in 1984 and 2007. In terms of the foreign language learners, the proportion of women was always higher than the man's figure in both years.
Female
Fix the agreement mistake
Females
show examples
 started at almost 50% in 1984 but decreased steadily to 40% in 2007,
whereas
Linking Words
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 began with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 lower figure at 30% in 1984,
then
Linking Words
 experienced a slight decline to approximately 25%. Regarding the types of
languages
Use synonyms
, French was the most popular one in both genders,
while
Linking Words
Spanish
Use synonyms
 was the least. Notably, there was a significant gap between French and the other two
languages
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as German and
Spanish
Use synonyms
, with a difference of around 30%.
French
Replace the word
France
show examples
 stood at 50% in 1984, plummeting significantly to around 25% in 2007, and
German
Replace the word
Germany
show examples
 recorded a
simliar
Correct your spelling
similar
 trend to
French
Replace the word
France
show examples
 but its differences
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 smaller than French.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
Spanish
Use synonyms
 saw a slight increase from about 3% in 1984 to 10% in 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 who learned foreign
languages
Use synonyms
 experienced significant declines in both years and genders,
while
Linking Words
Spanish
Use synonyms
 which
students
Use synonyms
 selected only increased slightly over the period.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, languages, spanish with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • modern foreign languages
  • English-speaking country
  • demographic
  • participation
  • gender disparities
  • trends
  • popularity rankings
  • analyzing
  • implications
  • cultural factors
  • economic ties
  • global job market
  • increasingly globalized
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