IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The internet has a bigger impact on people’s lives because it is more popular than television. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support you position.

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Social media has impacted most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
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's lives in a very
bigger
Correct word choice
big
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 way which is why
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
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 getting more popular than
the
Correct article usage
apply
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other resources like
newspaper
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newspapers
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 and television. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I am going to discuss how it has changed everyone's lifestyle and what
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
measure
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measures
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 should be taken
while
Linking Words
 depending on the
internet
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. On the
first
Correct word choice
other
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 hand, Technology is becoming so crucial these days as it has introduced a lot of applications and machines from which everyone is becoming digital in
everyway
Correct your spelling
every way
.
People
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from
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of
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 different ages are totally dependent on
Use synonyms
Add an article
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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.
For example
Linking Words
, I was in school in 2012 and I was not using any mobile phones
and
Correct word choice
apply
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my books and all course details are usually through
library
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the library
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 and bookstore
however
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 If
i
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I
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 talk about 2025 children
there
Correct your spelling
their
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 materials and all the syllabus are online and they have their tablets and laptops for study.
Also
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,
People
Use synonyms
use
Wrong verb form
used
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 to watch television when they
wants
Wrong verb form
wanted
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 to know about daily news or anything related to entertainment but nowadays everyone has their phones or
laptop
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laptops
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 where they watch everything.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, In
this
Linking Words
 digital era,
People
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 should remember to keep them to the ground and stick with the old techniques when it comes to raising their children because it will impact them in a very bad way as they will not learn anything from the scratch and start depending on the
internet
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 which is very
harmfull
Correct your spelling
harmful
 for their future.
For example
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, One of my
relative
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relatives
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 was
working
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a working
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parents
Fix the agreement mistake
parent
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 and they were not
giving
Wrong verb form
given
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time
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 to spend with their child and their child
mostly
Add a missing verb
was mostly
show examples
 busy
in
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on
show examples
 the phone playing games
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
he is over his age and still
not
Add a missing verb
does not
show examples
 understand how to speak with elders.
New
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The new
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 generation should know the difference between spending
time
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 with family and spending
time
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 on
phone
Add an article
the phone
show examples
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I believe that using
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 is not bad and being digital in
this
Linking Words
fastpace
Correct your spelling
fast-paced
 life is good
induldging
Correct your spelling
indulging
however
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
 to understand the best way to utilise their
time
Use synonyms
 without being dependent on the
internet
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Ensure that your thesis statement clearly outlines the points that will be discussed in the essay. This helps set the stage for your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer paragraphing to separate ideas. Each paragraph should contain a single main idea, supported by examples.
coherence and cohesion
Incorporate more transitional phrases between your ideas to guide the reader through your arguments smoothly.
task achievement
Consider elaborating on your examples with more details to strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the topic and discusses both benefits and drawbacks of internet usage.
task achievement
You provided personal examples, which can make your arguments more relatable and engaging for readers.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Interactive
  • Engaging experience
  • Immediate access
  • Vast amount of information
  • Educational resources
  • Personal and professional growth
  • Social media platforms
  • Communication and connection
  • Various forms of entertainment
  • Diverse interests
  • E-commerce
  • Two-way interaction
  • Consume content
  • Create and share
  • Beneficial
  • Flourished
  • Convenience
  • One-way medium
What to do next:
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