IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

According to some people, death penalty must be used as a punishment for people who committed serious crimes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of capital punishment? Umar

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According to
Linking Words
 several individuals,
Use synonyms
death
Correct article usage
the death
show examples
 penalty
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
must be used as a punishment for humans who
did
Verb problem
commit
show examples
serious
Add an article
the serious
show examples
offence
Fix the agreement mistake
offences
show examples
. The advantage
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
, already died people would be
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an example to others to prevent
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of crimes,scaring them ,but
disadvantage
Correct article usage
the disadvantage
show examples
there
Add a missing verb
is there
show examples
 is always a chance to kill
innacurate
Correct your spelling
inaccurate
 inhabitants. After serious
offence
Fix the agreement mistake
offences
show examples
,
instead
Linking Words
 of
jail
Wrong verb form
jailing
show examples
 for a
long-term
Correct your spelling
long term
show examples
,offenders should
be died
Change to the active voice
die
have died
show examples
, it would be
as
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
truly
Change the word
true
show examples
Correct article usage
an examples
show examples
examples
Fix the agreement mistake
example
show examples
 for
crimers
Correct your spelling
crimes
.
Death
Use synonyms
 punishment means that there is no chance to survive thereby people
began
Wrong verb form
begin
show examples
 to fear
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
death
Use synonyms
 and with
a big possibilities
Correct the article-noun agreement
big possibilities
a big possibility
show examples
 it
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
 lead to not spreading of crime.
Moreover
Linking Words
, rapidly
reducing
Wrong verb form
reduces
show examples
 heavy crimes .
For instance
Linking Words
, according International Criminal Court in Chinese after adding
this
Linking Words
 law there
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
dramatically
Replace the word
a dramatic
show examples
 decrease
almost
Change preposition
in almost
show examples
 all crimes for
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
some quantity of time.
Possibilty
Correct your spelling
Possibility
 of incorrect execution can always
distrub
Correct your spelling
disturb
 people
Correct pronoun usage
who rejected
show examples
rejected
Wrong verb form
reject
show examples
this
Linking Words
 law.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 our planet there always will be
a cases
Correct the article-noun agreement
cases
a case
show examples
, when lawyers on their own, by mistake made
a conclusions
Correct the article-noun agreement
a conclusion
conclusions
show examples
 to
Use synonyms
death
Correct article usage
the death
show examples
 of crimers ,who actually
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
choosen
Correct your spelling
chosen
 by mistake or by
negllegence
Correct your spelling
negligence
, which can lead to irrevirsible consequences .
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 happening daily and only fully stopping
this
Linking Words
 law can be
solution
Add an article
the solution
a solution
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
issues
Fix the agreement mistake
issue
show examples
. In conclusion,
main
Change the article
the main
show examples
 positive is
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 rules
definetely
Correct your spelling
definitely
 help with not spreading
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
lawbreakers thereby
deterrence of
Replace the word
deterring
show examples
 crime.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
negative
Correct article usage
the negative
show examples
 side
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 opportunity killing
wrong
Correct article usage
the wrong
show examples
 residents, by chance and unprofessionalism always will be.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Try to enhance the clarity and flow of your ideas by using linking words and phrases. For instance, instead of 'the advantage that', you could say 'One advantage is that'.
Task Achievement
Make sure your main points are fully developed with clear explanations and examples. You mentioned an instance, but it could be detailed further for stronger support.
Coherence and Cohesion
Be cautious about grammar and vocabulary; using correct forms and avoiding errors will improve clarity. For example, 'died people' should be 'dead people' and 'innacurate' should be 'inaccurate'.
Task Achievement
You have a clear understanding of both sides of the argument, which is important in discussing a complex issue like capital punishment.
Task Achievement
The examples you chose, although brief, show a good attempt to integrate data into your argument, which strengthens your discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • capital punishment
  • deterrent
  • retribution
  • closure
  • heinous crimes
  • judicial system
  • marginalized communities
  • wrongful convictions
  • ethical concerns
  • life sentence
  • victims' families
  • financial implications
  • societal impact
  • justice system
  • penalty
What to do next:
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