IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people say that the Maine aim of advertising is to improve sales of products that people do not really need. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Advertising is becoming
popular
Add an article
a popular
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 way of selling unnecessary products through TV or the Internet to
Correct article usage
the publics
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publics
Fix the agreement mistake
public
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.
While
Linking Words
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
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people
Use synonyms
 oppose
this
Linking Words
 notion, I personally
agrue
Correct your spelling
agree
argue
 in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
.
To begin
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 with,
people
Use synonyms
 might see unnecessary advertising
while
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 searching online or watching TV, so
people
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 may waste time by watching those
ads
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. Since, through the advertising process they could influence
on
Change preposition
apply
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people
Use synonyms
’s minds. If
people
Use synonyms
 watch
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 logos and
promtion
Correct your spelling
promotion
 everywhere, they are likely to be
influanced
Correct your spelling
influenced
 by those
ads
Use synonyms
 .
For example
Linking Words
, a lot of producers use
this
Linking Words
 technique for unnecessary
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
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such
Linking Words
 as sweets, toys or jewelry.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it may be
time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
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 and simply distracting to watch
unecessary
Correct your spelling
unnecessary
ads
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
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, some advertisements are helpful for
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
/society. Since these
ads
Use synonyms
 may be
benefcial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 when
people
Use synonyms
 are looking for
specific
Correct article usage
a specific
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 service or product
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
For instance
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, services and electronic
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
allows
Correct subject-verb agreement
allow
show examples
 them to find more information about it
thought
Correct your spelling
through
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 advertisements .
In addition
Linking Words
, on social media
people
Use synonyms
 could see plenty of language schools advertising.
Thus
Linking Words
, advertising has plenty of advantages for
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 as a whole. In conclusion,
beside of
Change preposition
besides
show examples
 some
negatives
Change the noun form
negative
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sides
Add a comma
sides,
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 there can be found plenty of advantages for social offered by manufacturers.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly define your position in the introduction. Consider rephrasing 'I personally agrue in favor' to clarify that you agree with the statement.
coherence and cohesion
Try to enhance the logical flow between your ideas. Ensure each paragraph smoothly connects to the next to improve readability.
coherence and cohesion
Focus on correcting grammatical errors, such as 'influanced' to 'influenced' and 'benficial' to 'beneficial'.
task achievement
In your conclusion, summarize the key points more effectively, reinforcing your argument about the mixed nature of advertising's impact.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt and presents both sides of the argument, which demonstrates critical thinking.
task achievement
You provided examples of products that are often advertised unnecessarily, which adds depth to your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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