Some people think that nowadays children have too much freedom. Do you agree or disagree?

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In contemporary society, there is a considerable debate over whether
children
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have excessive
freedom
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. In my opinion,
while
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possessing
freedom
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for
children
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do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
have merits in future development, the parents and educational institutions should be held
responsibility
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responsible
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to set
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for setting
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boundaries
preventing
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to prevent
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further
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harms
Fix the agreement mistake
harm
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to
children
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. There are some compelling reasons for giving
children
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greater
freedom
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.
Firstly
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, more
freedom
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encourages
children
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to nurture independent thinking.
For example
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, allowing
children
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to grow
in
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up in
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complicated situations
with
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by
show examples
making
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
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dicisions
Correct your spelling
decisions
and dealing with problems they
faced
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face
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by
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apply
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oneself
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apply
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at
young
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a young
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age, stimulates a sense of independence.
Secondly
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,
a
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an
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open environment is constructive to foster creativity and self-expression in childhood. With increased
freedom
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,
children
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learn self-management, especially time and emotion management.
This
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cultivates a solid foundation for their future academic and professional path as effective
self-behavior
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self-behaviour
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and
emotion
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emotional
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management
making
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make
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it easier for them to overcome various challenges.
However
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, unrestricted
freedom
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might lead some
children
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to become more selfish since they may prioritize self-satisfaction before
others
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others'
other's
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feelings.
As a result
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,
this
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selfish
behavior
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behaviour
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can result in
destruction
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the destruction
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in
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of
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social interactions and collaborations.
Additionally
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, Some
children
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,
due to
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excessive autonomy , may lack basic values and moral guidelines. The absence of social norms even
contribute
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contributes
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to
juvernile
Correct your spelling
juvenile
delinquency.
Therefore
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, families and educational institutions should collaborate to provide guidance and
instill
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instil
show examples
values in
children
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. In conclusion, the discussion of whether
children
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have too much
freedom
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is multifaceted.
While
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excessive autonomy may pose challenges and security risks, appropriate boundaries of
freedom
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are crucial for
children
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's growth, independence, and well-being.

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task achievement
Consider tightening your thesis statement for clarity in your position. For example, explicitly state that both freedom and boundaries are necessary in childhood development.
task achievement
Make sure to thoroughly explain any specific terms or ideas, like ‘excessive autonomy’, to ensure clarity for the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure logical links between sentences and paragraphs; using more linking phrases could enhance the flow (e.g., 'on the other hand' or 'furthermore').
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to back up your claims, such as a real-life example of creativity in children given greater freedom, to ensure your argument is well-supported.
content
Your essay presents a balanced view, discussing both sides of the argument effectively.
structure
The structure is generally clear, with a discernible introduction, body, and conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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