IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that environmental problems are too big for individuals to solve, while others believe that individuals can still make a significant difference in addressing these problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Many individuals believe that problems, like deforestation, global warming and pollution, are too big for humanity to solve,
while
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 others think that society can still help. Both views have their merits and the essay will discuss them before presenting my own opinion.
To begin
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 with, some people say that environmental issues are too large for one person to fix.
That is
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 to say, these often need help from governments and large companies.
For example
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, stopping deforestation in the Amazon rainforest involves dealing with big companies and illegal logging operations, like JBS and Cargill, which is something individuals cannot control.
As a result
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, the problem is too big and
for
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apply
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solving
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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, it requires a lot of money and energy, which can not be given only by one human.
On the other hand
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, others believe that people can still help the environment.
Furthermore
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, if many humans make small changes, it can add up to a big impact.
For instance
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, if everyone follows the culture of
behavior
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behaviour
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 in public places, it would mean that they need to clean up after themselves in any form of waste and regularly ensure cleanliness around them. In conclusion, both options have their advantages and disadvantages, as not all problems can be solved by society alone, but there are
also
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 issues that will require the support and involvement of society . In my opinion , if everyone makes small positive changes for the environment, the problems could be solved, and every person should learn not to leave their trash behind.

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task achievement
Make sure to include more specific examples and details to support your points, particularly for the view that individuals can make a significant difference. This will enhance the clarity and depth of your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Work on ensuring a smoother flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs. Transition words and phrases can help guide the reader.
task achievement
Consider rephrasing some sentences for clarity. For instance, your points on deforestation would benefit from clearer expressions of how individuals can engage in advocacy or local activism.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps in guiding the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
You present both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a balanced approach to the topic.
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