In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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this

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modern era use of high-priced applications

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phones is common among

people

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, where

people

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spend more time compared to the past.

However

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popularity

Correct article usage

the popularity

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for

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this

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development

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is increasing, and it has more disadvantages as compared to advantages. I will give reasons behind my answer in the upcoming paragraphs. On the one hand, if talking about the pros side, there are a few advantages of

this

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development

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such

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people

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are

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apply

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paying a high price for the application, but they

also

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earn

money

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from that application. PUBG,

for example

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, nowadays many

people

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invest their

money

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to buy skins for guns

as well as

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for better clothes

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apply

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and do live streaming on YouTube where other

people

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love to watch

this

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and they give them a tip if players play well; in

this

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manner, many

people

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earn a good amount of

money

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On the other hand

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this

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development

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has more cons if we compare

with

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it with

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the pros; sometimes, individuals lose their whole life savings to

this

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type of app and do not get anything.

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, many times, children are badly addicted to these types of games, and suffer from trauma, like they sleep talk,

their

Correct word choice

and their

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hands mimic the action button they use

while

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playing.

For Instance

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, recently, a 12-year-old boy playing video games on his father's mobile unknowingly spent all of his father's

money

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on that game, and the family had to suffer from the tragic situation.

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, these high-paying mobile applications sometimes steal personal data and sell it on the black market. In conclusion, I believe that

this

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type of

development

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has more disadvantages than advantages because, without proper guidance and supervision, minors can easily get trapped and lose

money

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while

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many

people

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make

money

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out of these types of apps.

udaysuhagiya2Sat Apr 26 2025

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Task Achievement

The introduction could be more specific about the advantages and disadvantages you will discuss. Summarizing the points you will cover in a clearer way would strengthen your thesis statement.

Coherence and Cohesion

While your paragraphs are structured, transitions between ideas could be improved. Phrases like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' are good, but consider using more varied linking words to enhance the flow of your essay.

Task Achievement

To strengthen your argument, consider providing more balanced coverage of both advantages and disadvantages. The essay currently leans more towards the disadvantages without sufficiently elaborating on the advantages.

Task Achievement

You provided relevant examples to support your points, particularly with the example of PUBG, which helps illustrate your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes your views on the topic and reiterates the main points discussed in the essay.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

292 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

convenience
safety
security
time-saving
cashless transactions
dependence on technology
privacy concerns
accessibility issues
financial vulnerability

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In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

people are spending more on travel today than in the past. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes?

Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Long-haul flights contribute to environmental degradation and use more fuel than automobiles. Rather than restricting the use of cars, we ought to discourage non-essential flying. How much do you concur or disagree?