IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

it is important for everyone,including young people,to save money for their future. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

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It is often argued that the most significant thing for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most people including young
one's
Change the noun form
ones
one
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 is saving
money
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the future. I partly agree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion and think that saving
money
Use synonyms
 is slightly
important
Correct quantifier usage
more important
show examples
 than spending it. First of all, keeping
money
Use synonyms
 in the bank is crucial and
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 people feel that they are safe in case of emergency. Everyone should have
a
Remove the article
apply
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money
Use synonyms
 for
emergency
Fix the agreement mistake
emergencies
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 because they don't know what could happen in the future.
For example
Linking Words
, imagine I
decide
Wrong verb form
decided
show examples
 to go for a vacation and
traveled
Wrong verb form
travel
show examples
 to another country. In the meantime, I only have the
money
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 to cover my trip and I got injured how I'm going to pay for the medical expenses
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
Thus
Linking Words
, saving
money
Use synonyms
 for the future is important.
Secondly
Linking Words
, some individuals take saving
money
Use synonyms
 to
whole
Correct article usage
a whole
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 another level
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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they don't live a normal life.
while
Linking Words
 saving
money
Use synonyms
 is crucial it is
also
Linking Words
 considered that spending
money
Use synonyms
 is
important
Rephrase
as important
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 as saving to enjoy life.
For instance
Linking Words
, a friend of mine always saves
money
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 and doesn't pay when we
hangout
Correct your spelling
hang out
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 to stay in a cafe or
eating
Wrong verb form
eat
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 outside which
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
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 us to not invite him and he often stays at home
in
Change preposition
at
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 the weekends.
Therefor
Correct your spelling
Therefore
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 I think spending
money
Use synonyms
 is
also
Linking Words
 significant to enjoy
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the weekends or even go
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
holiday
Add an article
a holiday
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 once
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 year.
To sum up
Linking Words
, everyone has his own opinion about whether
spending
Change the verb form
to spend
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 or
saving
Wrong verb form
save
show examples
 it and I agree with both sides but
leaning
Wrong verb form
lean
show examples
 more
to
Change preposition
toward
show examples
 saving
money
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Strengthen your introduction by clearly stating your position in relation to the statement provided. Consider rephrasing the statement for clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that reflects the main idea to improve logical flow. Each supporting idea should be clearly linked back to your viewpoint.
coherence and cohesion
Use more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance the overall quality of your writing. This will make your essay more engaging and sophisticated.
task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced viewpoint by acknowledging both the importance of saving and spending, which adds depth to your argument.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples to support your points, which helps to illustrate your arguments effectively.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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