IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Many individuals today opt for self-employment instead of working for a company or organization. What could be the reasons for this trend?

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Most of
Use synonyms
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
 working in companies are
people
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 with high education. And not all
people
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 have it,
that is
Linking Words
 why some
people
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 choose
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
bussiness
Correct your spelling
business
.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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 jobs in organizations
demands
Change the verb form
demand
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 not only education
,
Add the word(s)
, but
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also
Linking Words
 some skills and health. If
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person
Add an article
a person
the person
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do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not have any skills of chatting or talking with
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person
Add an article
a person
the person
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, clear speech, accepting them to
company
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the company
a company
show examples
 can be very hard. Because, customer satisfaction and comfort,
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 very important
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 them. Opening
an
Change the word
your
show examples
 own
bussines
Correct your spelling
business
 depends on
phsycology
Correct your spelling
psychology
 and
character
Correct article usage
the character
show examples
 of
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
person
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 who hates to depend on someone or
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person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
 who
always
Add a missing verb
is always
show examples
 dissatisfied with their salary usually
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
show examples
 their own job.
Some times
Correct your spelling
Sometimes
show examples
 they follow and continue their
fathers
Change to a genitive case
father's
fathers'
show examples
 job. Business ownership has several disadvantages.
For example
Linking Words
 taxes,
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person
Add an article
the person
a person
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 who earns money from
Correct article usage
a bussiness
show examples
bussiness
Correct your spelling
business
 should pay
takes
Correct your spelling
taxes
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
. In some countries taxes are high, but in
others
Add a comma
others,
show examples
 they are not existing. Way to have
Correct article usage
a succesfull
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succesfull
Correct your spelling
successful
 business is very hard and starts with
fails
Replace the word
failure
show examples
,
person
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 fails several times.
Human
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A human
The human
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 who has iron patience
achieve
Correct subject-verb agreement
achieves
show examples
 his dreams. A
person
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 may fail, but they need to understand all the pain and suffering, and in some situations, they need to start everything from the beginning.
Next
Correct article usage
The next
show examples
 disadvantage,
Add a missing verb
is to
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to
Change preposition
that
show examples
 finance can be hard,
man
Add an article
a man
the man
show examples
 who put
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 money
on
Change preposition
into
show examples
 freelancing, can not finance their families, and it is impossible to spend time with them. In conclusion,
agrowing
Correct your spelling
a growing
growing
 number of
people
Use synonyms
 today choose to be self-employed rather than work for a company or organization.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to include clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader through your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Use more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance the overall quality of your writing.
task achievement
Make sure to proofread for spelling mistakes and grammatical errors, which can detract from your message.
task achievement
You identified relevant reasons for the trend toward self-employment, such as dependence on others and job dissatisfaction.
task achievement
You have provided some examples that help illustrate your points, such as the challenges of business ownership.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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