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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The following table shows the number of people from five European nations living in each other's countries in 2011

The following table shows the number of people from five European nations living in each other's countries in 2011
The table illustrates the amounts of different
people
Use synonyms
 from five
countries
Use synonyms
 in Europe in 2011 including the
UK
Use synonyms
, Germany, Italy,
Poland
Use synonyms
,
Spain
Correct word choice
and Spain
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the information in the table displayed only just the immigrated
people
Use synonyms
 because they did not show the amounts of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
citizens
Use synonyms
 who lived in their
countries
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, we could notice that Germany had the greatest number of
people
Use synonyms
lived
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 in
Linking Words
while
Correct pronoun usage
it while
show examples
Poland
Use synonyms
 had the least
citizens
Use synonyms
that
Change preposition
at that
show examples
 time. First of all, Germany had the most foreign individuals from other
countries
Use synonyms
, followed by the
UK
Use synonyms
 and Spain, respectively. In fact, the number of
people
Use synonyms
 in all of those three nations
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 approximately
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
one million
people
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, just about 6,000
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
foreign
citizens
Use synonyms
 lived in
Poland
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 most of the Polish
immigrate
Wrong verb form
immigrated
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other states, especially
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
UK
Use synonyms
. In summary, most
people
Use synonyms
 preferred living in the
UK
Use synonyms
, Italy and Spain.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there were just a bit of
citizens
Use synonyms
 who preferred living in
Poland
Use synonyms
, even Polish
people
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 lived in foreign
countries
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, countries, uk, poland, citizens with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amounts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • migration patterns
  • European nations
  • cross-country movements
  • bilateral migration links
  • economic impacts
  • social integration
  • political influence
  • European Union regulations
  • cultural integration
  • language barriers
  • socio-economic opportunities
  • historic ties
  • geographical proximity
  • host country
  • population movements
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